It's another two hours before we got back to our hotel. By the time we arrived, there nothing but thunders in my stomache..
Roast goose fired with "Lai Chee firewood"
2013年12月28日 星期六
Christmas Tour 3 Ku Lo Village, Hok Shan and Siu Kong, San Hui (聖誕之旅 3: 鶴山古勞水鄉. 新會小岡)
Cont'd
It's another two hours before we got back to our hotel. By the time we arrived, there nothing but thunders in my stomache..
It's another two hours before we got back to our hotel. By the time we arrived, there nothing but thunders in my stomache..
Christmas Tour 2. Toi Shan, Chik Ham, Ku Lo & San Hui (聖誕之旅2 台山 梅家大院. 赤坎)
(Cont'd)
This is a panoramic view of the two rows of houses copied from the Internet. There are a total of some 108 such houses more than half of which belonging to the biggest name there Boey (Mui). So they are popularly known as the Mui Family Court (梅家大院). They were all built in the 1940's just before WWII and reflected the Western architectural style of the period and is the site where the famous Chinese film "Let the Bullets Fly" was filmed. It's one of the best preserved kind of buildings of the period. A typical feature of such houses is that each of their verandahs are supported by front pillars on the kerbside facing the huge courtyard.
Christmas Jokes
Christmas is over. Really? If so, why are all those reindeers, Christmas trees, white fleece-snow, balloons, and color metallic balls, tinsels and ribbons etc still around all the shopping malls? And perhaps even the jokes?
1. Christmas In my Heart
Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year.
Thanks to credit cards, it’s on my Visa card statement twelve months a year also.
2. Santa and the little girl
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
3. Boys and Grandma
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.
At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...
I PRAY FOR A NEW I-Phone 5..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Hey, why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf !."
His little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"
4. Christmas in the Courtroom
It was Christmas and the magistrate was in a merry mood.
He leaned over and asked the accused “Why did they bring you here?”
“For doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the accused.
“That’s no offense,” said the magistrate "but when and where did you do your shopping?".
“Before the store opened,” countered the accused.
5. Three Wise Men
Q: Why weren’t there any nativity scenes in Washington D.C.?
A: They couldn’t find three wise men.
6. Teacher & Pupil
Teacher: If I have 20 cents and ask Ebenezer Scrooge for another 30 cents, how much will I have?
Pupil: 20 cents, teacher!
Teacher: You don’t know your arithmetic.
Pupil: Please, miss, you don’t know Scrooge!
7. The 3 stages of man
1. He believes in Santa Claus.
2. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.
3. He is Santa Claus.
8. Santa Claus is a woman!
Santa Claus can't be a man. Here's why:
The vast majorities of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve and then only go for a last-minute shopping spree.
A man would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
Men can’t pack a bag.
Men would rather be dead than be caught wearing red velvet.
Men don't ever want to be seen in the company all those elves.
Men don’t answer their mail.
Men can't be bothered with stockings unless somebody’s wearing them.
Being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
9. All You Needed to Know About Life you can learn from Santa
Encourage people to believe in you.
Always remember who’s naughty and who’s nice.
Don’t pout.
It’s as much fun to give as it is to receive.
Some days it’s OK to feel a little chubby.
Make your presents known.
Always ask for a little bit more than what you really want.
Bright red can make anyone look good.
Wear a wide belt and no-one will notice how many pounds you’ve gained.
If you only show up once a year, everyone will think you’re very important.
Whenever you’re at a loss for words, say: “HO, HO, HO!”
So "HO, HO, HO and a happy new year to you all!"
1. Christmas In my Heart
Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year.
Thanks to credit cards, it’s on my Visa card statement twelve months a year also.
2. Santa and the little girl
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
3. Boys and Grandma
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.
At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...
I PRAY FOR A NEW I-Phone 5..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Hey, why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf !."
His little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"
4. Christmas in the Courtroom
It was Christmas and the magistrate was in a merry mood.
He leaned over and asked the accused “Why did they bring you here?”
“For doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the accused.
“That’s no offense,” said the magistrate "but when and where did you do your shopping?".
“Before the store opened,” countered the accused.
5. Three Wise Men
Q: Why weren’t there any nativity scenes in Washington D.C.?
A: They couldn’t find three wise men.
6. Teacher & Pupil
Teacher: If I have 20 cents and ask Ebenezer Scrooge for another 30 cents, how much will I have?
Pupil: 20 cents, teacher!
Teacher: You don’t know your arithmetic.
Pupil: Please, miss, you don’t know Scrooge!
7. The 3 stages of man
1. He believes in Santa Claus.
2. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.
3. He is Santa Claus.
8. Santa Claus is a woman!
Santa Claus can't be a man. Here's why:
The vast majorities of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve and then only go for a last-minute shopping spree.
A man would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
Men can’t pack a bag.
Men would rather be dead than be caught wearing red velvet.
Men don't ever want to be seen in the company all those elves.
Men don’t answer their mail.
Men can't be bothered with stockings unless somebody’s wearing them.
Being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
9. All You Needed to Know About Life you can learn from Santa
Encourage people to believe in you.
Always remember who’s naughty and who’s nice.
Don’t pout.
It’s as much fun to give as it is to receive.
Some days it’s OK to feel a little chubby.
Make your presents known.
Always ask for a little bit more than what you really want.
Bright red can make anyone look good.
Wear a wide belt and no-one will notice how many pounds you’ve gained.
If you only show up once a year, everyone will think you’re very important.
Whenever you’re at a loss for words, say: “HO, HO, HO!”
So "HO, HO, HO and a happy new year to you all!"
2013年12月27日 星期五
Christmas Tour.1 Floating Moon. Toi Shan (聖誕之旅 1 台山浮月村碉樓)
Christmas usually means agonizing over dresses, accessories, jewelry, hairdos, handbags, shoes, lipsticks, eye-lashes, eye shadows, face powder, nail polish and deciding which parties to go to and whose to politely refuse and dreams of meeting the right guy for teenage girls and similar sleepless nights over what gifts to buy for whom, when and how to give them away and fussing over the Christmas lunches and dinners for married couples, and shopping, dinners, cinemas or mahjong parties for the junior office workers and looking forward to being rejoined by their children and grandchildren for the older folks. But for me, Christmas this year meant a new adventure: a short trip to nearby Guangdong with fellow amateur photographers.
The trip meant meeting at the Futian Port Station across the border from Lok Ma Chau MTR station 7 a.m. in the morning. I arrived early and waited for the late comers but didn't have to wait long. We had a tour leader and a local guide. Our tour leader was a lovely young lady trying her nervous best to look self-confident and competent. Our local tour guide was her complete opposite: a seasoned loud-mouth, no nonsense tom-boy whose jokes about some of the things which could happen would make us gasp for breath from belly aches from laughing too hard. One of her "would-you-believe it?" tales concerned her anxieties during one of her many tours: after several hours of urgent telephone calls to and from the hotel management and her, one old couple who vigorously denied having left anything important inside a combination-lock operated hotel room safe deposit box despite a message requesting for combination lock number code from the hotel manager for their locked safe deposit box, something nobody expected was discovered after the they called in an expert locksmith: a "pineapple bun" which the old couple bought from a restaurant where they lunched earlier in the day because they mistook the safe deposit box for a micro-wave oven and then decided to abandon their pre-bedtime snack because they couldn't remember the combination number a minute after they put it in!
2013年12月21日 星期六
Saturday Fun
Just finished a trip to a mystifying country: India. I came away with a puzzle that I can never figure out: how is possible for a people of such obvious intelligence and subtlety of thought to remain a third world country for such a long time? I shall try to find out but that should not stop one from having a little fun about that inscrutable subcontinent.
1. Asardarji walks into a bar and orders 3 shots for himself.
The bartender asks him why 3 shots?
Asaradarji says that he has two brothers overseas and that whenever they drink, they all drink for each other as well.
A few weeks later, Asardarji comes in again and orders 2 shots for himself.
The bartender asks him if something happened to one of his brothers.
Asardarji replies "Nah, I've just stopped drinking but the other two haven't. "
2. A Western expatriate teacher at an international school offers a cash reward to the child who can name the greatest man who ever lived.
“Buddha?” says a Buddhist.
“The prophet?” says a Muslim.
“Jesus?” says a Hindu.
The teacher hands the money to the Hindu, who says: “Thanks, Miss. Actually, the right answer is Krishna, but business is business."
3.
1. Asardarji walks into a bar and orders 3 shots for himself.
The bartender asks him why 3 shots?
Asaradarji says that he has two brothers overseas and that whenever they drink, they all drink for each other as well.
A few weeks later, Asardarji comes in again and orders 2 shots for himself.
The bartender asks him if something happened to one of his brothers.
Asardarji replies "Nah, I've just stopped drinking but the other two haven't. "
2. A Western expatriate teacher at an international school offers a cash reward to the child who can name the greatest man who ever lived.
“Buddha?” says a Buddhist.
“The prophet?” says a Muslim.
“Jesus?” says a Hindu.
The teacher hands the money to the Hindu, who says: “Thanks, Miss. Actually, the right answer is Krishna, but business is business."
3.
Asardarji brings his best buddy home for dinner
unannounced at 5:30 after work.
His wife starts screaming at him whilst his friend just sits and listens.
"My hair and makeup are not done. The house is a mess. The dishes are not done. I'm still in my pajamas. And I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home for?"
Asardarji "Because he's thinking of getting married."
Have a nice weekend.
His wife starts screaming at him whilst his friend just sits and listens.
"My hair and makeup are not done. The house is a mess. The dishes are not done. I'm still in my pajamas. And I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home for?"
Asardarji "Because he's thinking of getting married."
Have a nice weekend.
訂閱：
文章 (Atom)