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2010年8月27日 星期五

Friday Fun

Didn't sleep a wink last night. Effect of jet lag, I suppose! What did I do?


I cleaned up  piles and piles of materials I downloaded from the internet either in preparation of various talks by different groups I was about to hear or if my interest was piqued, materials I downloaded for further reading after such talks, handouts by the various speakers on philosophical subjects, meaningful electronic correspondence I had with some of my friends, photocopies of relevant extracts from different books I borrowed from the HKU libraries, lecture notes of my Spanish lessons over the years etc. I grouped them together according to subject matter. I stapled them. Then I clipped the relevant bundles together with metal clips of various sizes and put them amongst my previous collection of such bundles. There were more than 30 such !


However, it was not all drudgery. Whilst sorting out the papers, I discovered various jokes friends sent me over the internet in the past year which I had printed out at the office before deleting them. Some of them are quite good. And not just a few of them too. Now I got a whole pile of them! Don't worry, I am not stingy. Since it's already Friday, it's as good a day as a weekend to share them with others. Here're some. And like so many good jokes,they've all got to do with a certain most enjoyable animal activity. Without further ado, here are six samples of what I found:


1.   Virginity may not be dignity. It may just be lack of opportunity!


2.    Q: Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?


       A:  To separate the hairy from the dairy section.


3.    A man interviewed 4 girls for the post of secretary. To be fair, he asked each of them exactly the same question. It was an extremely simple question. He said, " A lady has two mouths. What's the difference between them?"


       The first said, "One can talk. The other cannot." "Good," he said.


        The second said, " One is vertical and the other horizontal." "Good, " he said.


        The third said: "Only one is hairy, the other not." "Good," he said.


         The fourth said, "The upper one is mine. The lower is for my boss." "Um..." he said. 


         Guess who was hired?


4.      A woman was complaining to a dentist: "Dr. Johnson, it's so painful. I'd rather have a baby than have it removed."


          Dr. Johnson replied, "You sure, lady? I'll have to adjust the chair."


5.      An 85-year-old poor lady about to die went to a sexton and told him she wanted her tombstone to read: "Born a virgin, lived a virgin and died a virgin."


         The sexton said, " Ma'am, would you like an 80% discount?"


         "Sure, that'd be nice. But... what do I have to do?"


         " Simple. Just reduce the number of words because I charge by the number of words."


         "How?"


         "How about 'Returned unopened.'?"


6.     Two gays were looking over some travel brochures at a travel agency.


        One suggested "Let's try Greece this year."


        The other asked " Why? What's wrong with Vaseline?"


Have a nice day!


5 則留言:

  1. Thanks for sharing. Good ones for the weekend!
    Here's another one in return:
    As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
    She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
    A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".  
    [版主回覆08/27/2010 09:57:00]Just wonderingabout the age of the "female passenger". She must need it real bad! Perhaps a formless sample of the other half of the species?

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  2. Good morning, my dear friends ! "Relaxing   Entering the walks of life, jet lag,  Lag the love of our life,amazed,  Amazed with the colorful balloons , xerox,  Xerox the happiest moments within heart's interior,  Interior designing what to do everyday , day is new,  New frontiers of hopes to gain,  Gains the happiest moments of a joker's joy and a joker's love..." Enjoy your weekend, my friend !    




    [版主回覆08/27/2010 09:59:00]Thanks for your speedy creation. Have a nice and relaxing weekend!

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  3. haha. . . 我都很喜歡收拾東西,尤其是看見那些雜亂的紙頭分門別類地放在書架上,那種滿足無以名之 . . . 每每裁了頭進去便停不了,有時甚至飯也忘了吃 . . . btw ,放假的日子特別快過,相信你和家人享受了一個很好的假期,那是任何東西也換不來的 . . .
    [版主回覆08/28/2010 05:34:00]Creating order out of chaos always gives a peculiar sort of satisfaction. And as you said, once having started, it seems difficult to stop until the last piece in the mad jumble seems to have found its "proper" place amongst the different piles. And in the process, one often finds to one's delight, "Ah, that's the article I remember I had read and which the other day, I was trying sooo desperately to but did not manage to find. There it is!" And when the process is finished and one surveys the result of one's all night labor, with an aching back or shoulders, one can tell oneself, "It'll be a long time before I'll have to do that again!" with a kind of smugness which one justifyingly feels one has earned! . But in less time that one gives it credit for, things will slowly, imperceptibly drift into their former chaos again until one fine day or night one feels that it has become absolutely intolerable and one reluctantly braces oneself for another soul breaking "cleaning up" operation again!   

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  4. 你似乎很忙亂..希望你星期六日..可以好好休息
    [版主回覆08/28/2010 06:26:00]You are right. So many things to do and so little time and so tiring! But when one takes a break, calms down from the mad rush and thinks a little, one realizes the utter triviality of all one's doings and the ultimate futility of it all. One asks "Does the greater part of our life not consists of just this sort of incessant, almost blind and certainly  'mindless' rushing about doing this, doing that?". To me, what redeems all this feverish rush and gives it a semblance of meaning are are certain rare and privileged moments when one's mind, one's heart merges with that(those) of one or more of one's fellow(s) in a kind of "almost unplanned" conspiratorial bond of silence when one "knows" without thinking, without having to say or do anything, that the other(s) understand(s) us .   

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  5. 晚安....我的朋友..明天一起努力面對工作
    [版主回覆08/30/2010 01:58:00]Same to you. Another week of work awaits! But do take time to relax!

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