Saturday Fun (星期六樂趣)

The religion and churches are supposed to  be about matters of the greatest import.  But I don't think there is anything in the Ten Commandment  which says that they can't carry a funny side too.

 
1.

After his baby brother  was baptised in church, little Denis sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
But little Dennis wouldn't tell.
Finally, little Denis relented, 'That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys.'

Saturday Fun (星期六趣味)

It's always nice to have friends, especially those who love to surf on the internet and love to pass on whatever it is they find interesting  to you. In that way, I'm truly blessed. Often when I'm racking my brain about what I should post on the Saturday or weekend fun blog, all I got to do to check my emails. If you're giggling sheepishly before quickly recovering your dignified composure or smiling your knowing smile and choking with laughter or wiping the tears off your eyes whilst doing your best to restrain the uncontrollable spasms around your abdomen area, you know that the true object of your your thanks should be my friends and not me. 

Just got the following from my friend. It's about the life of ordinary folks like me. They're in Chinese and should be more enjoyable that way because of the end rhymes. But they're not too bad in translations. Here they are.

1. 

Wish to get into the fast lane in your career rise? Split your hair in the middle.
  (中間分界，升職最快)

Saturday Fun (星期六趣味)

It's often said that Chinese people have no sense of humor. I think that if ever that were true, then it's fast changing.  They can play on words too.

1.

The Chinese literature teacher asks his student to complete the following Chinese couplet by giving the starting line:  "Got money, willful" (有錢，任性)
Tiny Bright replies "No money, fateful" ( 小明回答:「沒錢，認命」。)

Saturday Fun (星期六趣味)

For some time how, I have been posting here various jokes forwarded to me by my friends or extracted from the internet.. But to date, I have never yet posted anything which moves. So I thought it might be interesting to introduce a little change today. Everyone thinks and says that the dialect we speak in Hong Kong is Guangdong dialect (廣東話). Strictly speaking, it is NOT that at all! It's just the dialect of Guangzhou  (廣府話). You don't believe me? Watch this video which I find not only entertaining but educational as well.

Don't we hear all those kinds of accents all the time amongst the cleaning workers, waiters, shopkeepers or customers or the parents of some of our friends and colleagues?  Whether or not you do, have fun detecting the subtle differences in the way they pronounce familiar Chinese words and have a nice weekend.

Weekend Fun (週末趣味)

Summer is upon us. No doubt about it. One takes 10 minutes to go down to the supermarket to buy some icecream. By the time one reaches home, not only has the icecream turned into a watery mush, one has first got to take a shower. But I'm sure there are places hotter than Hong Kong. Let's see what others have to say about what it means to have unrelenting summer heat.

1. The cows are giving evaporated milks.

2. We see a dog and a cat and they are  both simply walking.

3. Hot water now comes out of both taps.

4. You burn your hand simply opening the car door.

5. You now believe that asphalt can be liquid

6. Birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

7. If you need some baked potatoes for lunch, all you have to do is to pull one out from the ground and add butter, salt and pepper.

8. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

9. You start buying stock in Gatorade.

10. You start putting ice cubes in your water bed.

11. You can say 99 degrees without fainting.

12. Satan decided to take the day off.

13. You start eating hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

14. Your dream house has suddenly become any house at all in the North Pole

15. Your car overheats before you even turn the starting key.

16. You learn that your seat belt makes a perfectly good branding iron.

17. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

18. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.

What about you? What kind of ideas do the words "hot weather"  conjure up in your mind? Whatever they may be, have a cool weekend.

Saturday Fun (星期六樂趣)

People nowadays are always complaining, rightly or wrongly that there's too much stress either at their school, college, office or at wherever it is that they are working or even at home with their "better halves" and their kids making all sorts of demands upon them. But do you know what's real stress? Let's see....

You pick up a hitchhiker... A beautiful girl.

Suddenly she faints inside your car and you take her to the hospital.

Now that's stressful.

But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant and congratulate you that you're going to be a father.

You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are.

This is getting very stressful!

You request a DNA test to prove that you are really not the father.

After the tests are completed,

The doctor says the test shows you're infertile, and probably have been since birth.

You're extremely stressed but relieved.

On your way back home, you think about your 5 kids at home.

Now, do you still want to complain about your stress?

Whether you want to or not, have a stress-free weekend.