Saturday Fun (週末趣味)

It strikes me that very often, people only joke about things they don't really understand and maybe for that reason can't find any realistic way to deal with them in a way which gives them comfort. Could that not be why we have so many jokes about foreigners whom we have little qualms in stereotyping? Whatever the true reason may be, here are some jokes about Germans, who are often thought to be methodical, rule abiding, humorless and on occasions ruthless.

 Q: What's the difference between a German and a shopping trolley?  
 A: A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.   


Q: Why are there so many tree lined streets and leafy lanes in France?  
A:  Germans like to march in the shade.  

Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?  
A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving. 

German:       "Two Martinis, bitte."   
Bartender:      "Dry?" 
German:        "Nein, I said TWO!"  

Q:  Do you know why Germans build such high-quality products?  
A:  So they won't have to go around being nice while they fix them.

Q: What do you call a pissed off German?

A: Sauerkraut. 

Q: Why do they bury Germans 20 meters underground? 

A: Because they are really nice deep down. 

Q: What does a German politician have in common with a German porn star's mouth? 

A: They're both full of shit.

Q: What is the difference between Christianity and National Socialism? 

A: In Christianity one guy died for all the others.

Q: Who is the most well known Jewish cook? 

A: Hitler.

Q: How do you get rid of aristocratic Germans?

A: Von by von.

Q: What's the difference between German socialism and an orgasm?

A: With German socialism, you moan for a helluva lot longer. 

Q: What's the difference between a smart German and a unicorn?

A: Nothing. They're both fictions. 

Q: Did you hear about the winner of the German beauty contest?

A: Me neither.

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Germany? 

A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

 Have a nice weekend.