Saturday is upon us again. Time for stalking males to think about women. Come to think of it, when is there ever a day when they don't? And jokes! Today's joke is about the advantages of being that half of the human population which men will have to spend a life time to and still do not understand.
It's Wonderful to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous but guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies but male groupies are considered stalkers.
5. We can simply cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We never have to lust after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier. So we get to cash in on their life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies, Free fondling ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all our problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.
Vive la Femme!
Good evening, my dear old friend! Thank God that He has created woman... If you can understand woman better, than you could have a better moment with her... But if you can't understand her, then you will have endless troubles... "Endless love for endless women, Love not for sale and love not for selfish men, For love's sake, be true to her, Endless ways to care about her, but only one way will work out, Women, how would she fall in love with me? "
回覆刪除[版主回覆04/21/2011 08:05:00]Women are never meant to be understood because they don't even understand what it is they want, my friend! So it is not surprising few men truly understand them!
God created women to let men know how to be a man. A key is meaningless by itself. Only a lock makes the key functional.
回覆刪除[版主回覆04/19/2011 08:27:00]Leaving aside the questions of whether or not there is a God or if there is, whether it is God who created women and if so when and how, it is uncertain which of them is the lock and which the key.
never know that i got all these privileges, i shall consider to : 1. wear BF's clothes 2. cry when stop by police 3. i think the frog in the blender is pretty neutral 4. i did have a free dinner last night, treated by a female friend though, so where's hers 5. i hug most friends i meet ! but some of them need to be considered....... 6. start wearing lipsticks 7. ain't sure what the Italian ladies will thing about #16 8. Would love to receive chocolate as presents !
回覆刪除[版主回覆04/21/2011 08:08:00]Women either take things for granted or are forgetful. Who can blame them! I am not so sure about the other things, but next time you're in HK, you don't have to worry about chocolates!
An 85-year-old couple, after being married for almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercising. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and a Jacuzzi.
回覆刪除As they looked around, the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," St. Peter replied, "this is Heaven." Next, they went out in the back yard to survey the championship-style golf course that the home was located. They would have golfing privileges every day and each week, the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.
The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" St. Peter replied, "This is Heaven, you play for free." Next, they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the World laid out.
" How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is Heaven, it is free!" St. Peter replied, with some exasperation."Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.
St. Peter lectured, "That's the best part - you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven." With that, the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and screaming wildly. St. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault! If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"
[版主回覆04/21/2011 08:01:00]The old man is easily satisfied: just food and golf. There is a curious omission of one of most fun activities between the sexes!
hahaha
回覆刪除#2 is always true ^_^
[版主回覆04/21/2011 08:10:00]Perhaps only for you!
Good evening, my dear old friend! I guess that you're enjoying your Easter holiday now! Happy Easter, my dear friend!
回覆刪除[版主回覆04/21/2011 08:12:00]Yes, I got to "enjoy" slogging away at the pre-Easter works, my friend! Holidays seldom come without first exacting your last ounce of useable energy!