Chinese New Year passes quickly. Time always appears to run too quickly when one is happy. It's Sunday again. Time for some fun. Out of sympathy for those who are compelled to attend a place of worship where they would be voluntarily robbed after having had to endure being lectured on, I shall give them a little consolation in the form of some clean fun. Here they are:
At the Sermon
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
Church Announcement
There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation:
"I have good news and bad news for you today. The good news is: we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is: it's still out there in your pockets."
The Boasting Boys
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper. He calls it a poem. They give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper. He calls it a song. They give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper. He calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
At the Wedding
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment, then said "So why is the groom wearing black?"
Funeral Instructions
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote:
"They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."
Instruction About Church
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Happy Chinese New Year!
回覆刪除Thanks for the Sunday fun! Have a good day!
[版主回覆02/06/2011 11:06:00]May you have a wonderful Chinese New Year holiday too!
The fun is rather peaceful. Wish you happy in the lunar new year.
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/07/2011 07:38:00]Yes, fun is always calming because it makes us realize that there is hardly anything serious in this world. I'm sure you will have a very happy Chinese New Year too!
Thank you for sharing these jokes
回覆刪除they are funny
[版主回覆02/07/2011 09:03:00]Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed them!
Dear Elzorror, Just returned from my Quilin trip late last night. I hastened to visit your blog this morning to convey my greetings for a healthy, happy and prolific year of the Rabbit.
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/07/2011 09:02:00]Thank you, Peter. I wish you a healthy, happy and photographically fertile year of the Rabbit.
What a lucky couple to be able to visit that fairy tale like country! Does that mean we can confidently expect loads of beautiful photos from your top of the line model camera?
Yes, I have taken about 1,000 photos on my Quilin Trip. Guess I will need sometime to comb through the photos before I can come up with a condensed and readable photographic chronicle. Just keep your fingers crossed.
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/07/2011 10:32:00]I'm twiddling my fingers in anticpation!