A Father's Day Joke

How time flies when one does not have to work! Before I know it, it's already almost a week now here in America. I'm done reading three books, made an equal number of trips to various supermarkets and have been to various restaurants with friends, two high school graduations and on top of those, taken numerous photos. So it's about time to return to my fellow bloggers. I've just been reminded that it's Father's Day. So I'll just post one on the joys of fatherhood.


Dear Dad:



I know that it's been three months since I left for college. I have been
remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having
written before. I will bring you up to date now. But before you read
on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are
sitting down... Okay?


Well, then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and
the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory
when it caught fire shortly after my arrival, are now pretty well healed.  I only spent two weeks in hospital and  I can see almost
normally and only get three headaches a day now.


Fortunately the fire in the dorm and my jump were witnessed by an
attendant at the gas station close by. It was him who called
the Fire Department and the ambulance. He came to see me at the
hospital. As I had nowhere to live after my dorm room was burnt down and there was no immediate alternative room at the dorm after the fire, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's
really just a basement room, but it is kind of cute. He is a very fine boy
and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We
haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy
begins to show.


Yes, Dad, I am pregnant. For heaven's sake, don't tell Mom. She'll freak out. Dad, I know how much you are looking
forward to being grandpa and I know you will welcome the baby and
give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I
was a child. The reason why we delay in our marriage is that my
boyfriend has a minor infection which prevents us from passing our
premarital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will
soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am now taking daily.


I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind
and though not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a
different race and religion, I'm sure that'll not be a problem to you since you have always taught me that we should never treat someone whose skin color is slightly or even much darker than ours or someone holding different religious beliefs from those of the Southern Baptists any differently. I am sure you will love him as I do. His
family background is good too.  I'm told that his father is an
important gunbearer in the village in Africa from which he comes.


Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that: there
was no dorm fire; I did not have a concussion or skull fracture; I
was not in the hospital; I am not pregnant; I am not engaged; I do not
have syphillis and there is no boyfriend in my life. However, I am
getting a "D" in Spanish 101 and an "F" in GCOM :Human Communications 121. I just wanted you to see
these marks in the proper perspective.



Your loving daughter,

Joy

Hope you'll have better luck.