Saturday Fun

Returned recently from Hua Shan and had just been told that one year many years ago, more than a hundred had to sign up with the head of the netherworld because one fell whilst climbing up its sheer face and caused a whole lot of those behind him to fall domino fashion.  Mountaineering has never been a safe sport. One false move, and that'll probably be end, I mean, the final end. But still according to the mountain climbing tribe, it's even better than sex. They give a bunch of reasons:

1.     You got a choice of novice or expert routes
2.     a climb can last all day
3.     the guidebooks tell you how many visitors have been there before you
4.     you can pick the length and diameter of your rope
5.     you can leave your protection behind for the next guy
6.    there are lots of tight cracks
7.    It's not considered kinky to wear a harness
8.    the only rubber you wear is on your feet
9.     there are still rocks that haven't been touched
10.   the bond between you and your partner is more apparent.
11.   your partnership doesn't often end up making children.
12.   your partner usually doesn't throw things at you when there is an argument.
13.   if your partner leaves you, it is relatively easy to find another.
14.   you don't usually feel like jumping off a cliff if you fail at a climb.
15.   if there is a fall, broken bones mend faster and more completely than broken hearts.
16.   the rocks never expect you to call afterward nor care if you show up late
17.   friction is a positive quality.

You can get crazy about mountain climbing. You know that you've been climbing too long IF
1. You climb your friends fireplace
 2. You know how to get on your roof without a ladder
 3. You begin buying your shoes 2 sizes too small out of habit
 4. Your climbing equipment is worth more than your car
 5. You give up a decent job so you can climb more
 6. You blow a good marriage so you can climb more
 7. Your body is worn out and you need medical attention, but that would take away from your climbing time, so you continue to hobble
 8. Your list of names for future ascents are longer than your list of friends
 9. You notice that the contents of the relic walls in climbing shops is newer than your own rack.
 10. You remember paying $25 for a biner, but had to make nuts because they were not commercially available
 11. When walking down a cracked sidewalk, you're thinking, "That'll be a good hand hold".
 12. You wake up, put on your harness and shoes, and then realize it's a workday.
 13. Nobody ever wonders what they should get you for Christmas or your birthday.
,    
You might be a mountain climber IF ....

   1.  A cab driver has had to open his window because of the way you smelled.
    2. You have more summit pictures than wedding pictures.
    3. You've ever had icicles hanging from any part of your face.
    4. You've ever fallen so far that you've run out of adrenaline before you ran out of rope.
    5. You like the smell of burning yak dung.
    6. Your suncream is always in a solid state when you need it the most.
    7. What you call cold is not on the thermometer scale.
    8. 'Cos 90°' means it was too steep to go and has nothing to do with 1.
    9. Your definition of a candlelight dinner is: "Thaw the ice with the candle and put it in the bag of freeze-dry".
    10. When you hear the name "Hilary", you think "Everest" instead of Mrs Clinton and White House scandals.

Have fun over the weekend, whether or not you're a mountain climber!