Saturday Fun

Just got back from the PRC. So you'll pardon me if my mind is still full of things Chinese. Hence the jokes this weekend. Here're just three:


1

There was once a really rich but mean man.

He gave his servant a bottle.

"Buy me some wine," he ordered.

The servant asked, "Master, could you give me some money?"

The rich man said, "Anyone can buy wine with money. It takes real skill to buy wine without money."

After
a few minutes, the servant returned. But the bottle was still empty.

He handed the
bottle to the rich man and said, "Here's your wine, Master. Enjoy."

Staring at the empty bottle, the rich man asked, "But there's no wine. How do you expect me to enjoy it?"

The servant replied,  "Anyone can enjoy wine if there is some. It takes real skill to enjoy wine when there is none."


2.

Two Chinese who met whilst working at the same restaurant got married.

The bridegroom thought his wife a virgin.

On the
wedding night, she cowered naked under the bed sheets as her husband
undressed.

He climbed into bed next to her and tried to be reassuring.

"My
darling, I know it's your first time and you are frightened. I
assure you, I will do whatever you say. What do you want, dear? "

"Give me the 69" she replied.

"You want beef with broccoli?"


3.

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mee Lookee Yu, to watch and report on any activities that might seem improper.

A few days later, he received this report:

"Most honorable sir:

You leave house.

He come house.

I watch.

He and she leave house.

I follow.

He and she get on train.

I follow.

He and she go in hotel.

I climb tree.

I look in window.

He kiss she.

She kiss he.

He strip she

She strip he.

He play with she.

She play with he.

I play with me.

Fall out of tree, not see.

NO FEE"


It's sunny and dry. Go out to have some fun.