September is always a special month. School starts. And for some parents, it'll probably mean lots of extra work making sure that their kids are studying, revising, going to the "proper" kind of extra-curricula activities and a temporal but blissful cessation of loud music in the house during the day though with I-pods, it'll be less of a problem today than formerly. Remember how earnestly you yearned for children and how hard you worked trying to to have them? But once you have them, your perspective may mysteriously change. Here's what I've found about the "Truths of Parenting".
1.
A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning and those who say they "sleep like a baby" most probably haven't had one yet.
A child will not spill on a dirty floor.
A young child is a noise with dirt on it.
A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tyres.
2.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
3.
If you want to avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your children. But first be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home.
4.
Celibacy is not hereditary and familiarity breeds children.
5.
For adult education, nothing beats children. You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have.
6.
God invented mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at once and He invented guilt so mothers could be everywhere at once.
7.
Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain and it'll also turn you into your parents.
8.
If a child looks like his father, that's heredity; if he looks like a neighbor, that's environment.
9.
If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
10.
Insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids.
11.
It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.
12.
It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.
13.
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
14.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
15.
Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.
16.
The first sign of maturity of your kids is their discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
17.
There are three ways to get things done:
1) do it yourself
2) hire someone to do it
3) forbid your kids to do it
18.
There would probably be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
19.
The best thing to spend on your children is time.
Those of you who have got kids will probably know what I mean. Whether or not you do, have a nice weekend, with or without your children.
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