Saturday Fun (星期六趣味)

To a man who enjoys a bottle of wine or a glass of beer, nothing in the world holds more attraction. But once he has tasted it, nothing in the world will ever stop him from having another and another and another and...
 

1.

A man walks into a bar obviously stone drunk, and asks for a drink.
"Sorry, but you obviously already had a little too much to drink", says the bartender.
Fuming, the drunkard walks out the front door.
He walks into the side door.
“Can I have a drink please.”
“Sorry” the bartender says “you can’t have a drink here.”
The drunkard walks out . 
He goes in through the back door.
“Can I please have a drink.”
“Enough!” The bartender screams “I told You 'No Drinks'!”
The drunkard looks at the bartender closely and exclaims, “Darn! How many bars you work at!”

2.

Two Irish friends are drinking together at the home one of them.
One takes out a bottle of Irish whiskey and asks the other, "Will you pour this bottle out on my grave if I die first?"
His friend replies, "Do you mind if I were to pass that through my kidneys first?"

3.

A habitual drinker finally realized how serious his problem was and went to a see a psychiatrist to see how he could help.
The psychiatrist suggested that  every time he got drunk his patient had to report it to him the very next day. 
A few days later, the drunkard staggered into the psychiatrist’s office.
“I wanna report that I wash drunk last night,” he mumbled.
“For heaven’s sake, man, you’re drunk right now! ”cried the doctor.
“Yeah I know,” said the patient, “but I’m gonna report this tomorrow.”

Have a nice weekend.