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2010年5月16日 星期日

A Mystical Experience?

The following is a republication of another article which I wrote in another blog in early November last year!  I rediscovered it whilst trying to find out the contents of another article which I wrote last year and which some one is trying to read today . I had completely forgotten what I had written, having written more than 300 since I first started blogging . The reason I find this article interesting is that it seems to be related to three of the topics on which I am presently writing, viz. God, afterlife/reincarnation and the nature of the Tao in Chinese Taoism.  To me, the description of the God in this poem seems remarkably like the description of the Tao in Taoism and of the non-dualistic ideas of Nagajuna's Middle Way in Buddhism. I wrote this article the morning after I had the relevant experience..


                              The Cause of All Things 


                                  embraces all


                                  and is above all,


                                   is not without being or without life

 

                               He does not lack reason or intelligence.

                                   Yet,

                                    he is not an object.

                                   He has no form or shape. no quality,

                                   no quantity, no weight.

                              He is not restricted to any place.

                                   He cannot be seen .

                                   He cannot be touched,

                                   Our sense cannot perceive him,

                                   our mind cannot grasp him.

 

                              He is not swayed by needs,

                                   or drives

                                   or innner emotions.

                             Things or events that take place place in our world

                                    can never upset him.

                                    He needs no light.

                                    He suffers neither change

                                    nor corruption nor division,

                             He lacks nothing

                                    and remains always the same.

 

                             He is netiher soul nor intellect.

                                    He does not imagine, consider, argue or understand.

                                    He cannot be expressed in words

                                    or conceived in thoughts.

                                    He does not fall into any category

                                    of number or order.

                            He possesses no greatness or smallness

                                     nor equality or inequality, no similarity or dissimilarity.

                                     He does not stand or move nor is he addressed.

 

                            He does not yield power,

                                    neither is he power itself

                                    nor is he light

                                    He does not live

                                    nor is he life itself.

                            He may not be identified with being,

                                     nor with eternity or time.

 

                            He is not subject to the reach of the mind.

                                     He is not knowledge,

                                     or truth,

                                     or kingship,

                                     or wisdom

                                     He is not the one, or oneness;

                                      not Godhead or goodness.

                                     He is not even spirit

                                     in the way we understand it

                                     or sonship or fatherhood.

 

                            He is not anything else known to us

                                     or to any other being.

                            He has nothing in common with things that exist

                                      or things that do not exist.

                            Nothing that exists

                                      knows him as he really is.

                            Nor does he know things that exist

                                     through a knowledge

                                     existing outside himself.

                            Reason cannot reach him

                                     or know him.

                           He is neither darkness nor light,

                                     neither falsehood or truth.

 

                          All statements affirmed about him

                                    or denied about him

                                    are equally wrong.

                          For although we can make positive or negative statements

                                  about all things below him,

                                  We can neither affirm,

                                   nor deny him himself

                                  because the all perfect and unique cause

                                  of all things

                                  is beyond all affirmation.

                          Moreover, by the simple pre-eminence

                                  of his absolute nature, 

                                  he falls outside the scope

                                  of any negation.

                          He is free from every limitation

                                 and beyond them all.

 

                       The higher we rise in contemplation

                                 the more words fail.

                       Words cannot express pure mind.

                                When we enter the darkness

                                that lies beyond our grasp

                                we are forced, not merely to say little,

                                but rather to maintain an absolute silence,

                                a silence of thought

                                as well as of words....

                         As we move up from below

                                to that which is higher

                                in the order of being,

                                our power of speech decreases,

                                until,

                                when we reach the top

                                we find oursleves totally speeechless.

                         We are then overcome

                                by him who is wholly ineffable.

 

It was 5.30 a.m. I had just finished reading this poem, written by Pseudo-Dennis The Areopagite in the 6th Century. I was profoundly moved. I agree. God is not a substance, nor a being nor a person let alone a trinity of persons. Is God a feeling? God is an absence. God is an absence which may also be a presence. Can his  presence be felt? He can certainly not be perceived by our five senses. Is he a visceral feeling, a feeling which pervades not just some parts of our body but our whole body? All attempts to describe him is bound to end in abject failure. If he can be described, he cannot be God. He cannot be confined by our words, not even by our thoughts. Nor even by our feelings. 

 

He can only be suggested. We may look in his direction, but never "see" him fully. We can only encounter him in silence, when we are no longer ourselves, when we forget ourselves and who we are and become open to the unknown, as a newborn baby. If he wishes to encounter us, he won't stay long. Is God like a child who likes to play hide and seek.? One moment he makes an appearance and another moment, he vanishes without a trace. He is forever elusive, fleeting, obscure! Is he extremely shy? If so, why?

 

I closed my eyes. The words of the poem arranged in the above format appeared in the dark screen of my mind as tiny forms matching the length of the individual words first in greyish green, then in bluish gray but the individual letters appeared blurred. They were moving. The words at the bottom of the poem seemed to be falling away as if they had just been sprayed with a powerful but invisible solvent and began to fly off downwards, slowly, gently, as leaves from a tree in a soft autumn breeze or like so many tiny broken bluish grey kites swaying in the sky. They were literally dissolving right in front of my eyes! I do not know why I had such an image.

 

I opened my eyes. I left my bed. I wanted to relieve myself. Suddenly, without any warning, I felt a presence. I felt some energy coming from above me. It reached down through my cranium and spead downward. In less than a second, it passed through my face, my chest, my stomache and then reached down to my shins. My feet were still firmly on the ground. I did not know what happened. It felt strange. I felt a tingling feeling all through my body and nearly had goose pimples.  I started thinking: "What could it be?" The moment I started wondering and thinking, the feeling vanished.  The whole "encounter" lasted less than 5 or 6 seconds. What was it? A delayed physiological response of my body to the thoughts which pre-occupied me when I was reading and feeling the power of the poem? 

 

Since doing chi kung, the surface of my skin has become more sensitive to waves of energy in the external environment. Often, on my way to my office, when I pass along the section of Hollywood Road in front of but opposite to the Man Mo Temple, I felt such waves of energy, many many times. Maybe it is just the electro-magnetic field there. There is a small power transformer at the corner of the tiny garden there. Or a real presence? Or my imagination? God knows? Buddha knows? The Tao knows?                              

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