Here are my translations of the second part of Neruda's Oda a la Sandia:
El universo seco The dry universe 那乾涸的宇宙
de pronto suddenly 雯時
tachonado studded 嵌上
por este firmamento de frescura by this firmament of freshness 那滿天清凉
deja caer leaves 祇留下
la fruta the overflowing 那滿盈的
rebonsante: fruit to fall: 水果:
se abren sus hemispherios its hemispheres open 她打開其半球
mostrando una bandera revealing a flag 展示
verde, blanca, escarlata green, white, scarlet 綠色，白色，媽紅色的旗熾
que se disvuelve which dissolves 她們化作
en cascada, en azúcar, into a cascade, into sugar 層疊小瀑布，糖和
¡ en delicia! into deliciousness! 美味!
¡Cofre de agua, plácida Chest of water, calm 水庫，祥和的
reina queen 水果店
de la fruteria, of the fruit store 女后
bodega cellar 深奥的
de la profundad, luna of depth, earthly 坊鋪，地球的
terrestre! moon! 月亮！
en tu abundania in your abundance 在妳那豐沃中
se deshacen rubíes the rubies are undone 紅寶被切
y uno and one 而人們
quisiera would like to 渴望
morderte bite you 啃你
hundiendo sinkling 把臉龐
en ti into you 毛髮
la cara, one's face, 靈魂
el pelo, one's hair, 都埋藏
el alma ! one's soul!! 妳內!
Te divisamos We split you 我們在口渴中
en la sed in our thirst 將妳
como like 猶若
mina o mantaña a mine or a mountain 美妙食品之
de esplêndido alimento, of splendid food, 鑛藏或山般瓜分
pero te conviertes entre la dentadura y deseo but between teeth and desire you turn 但在牙齒與慾望中
en sólo only into 妳把自已化作
fresca luz fresh light 一度清涼之光
que se deslie which unties 以其歌唱
en manantial into a spring 鏡我們
que nos tocó which hit us , 溜進
cantando. singingi. 清泉
Y así And so 而
no pesas you do not weigh us down 你不使我們墮進
en la siesta in the scorching 那烤焦的
abrasadora, siesta, 午睡，
no pesas, you don't, 妳不會，
sólo you only 妳衹是
pasas pass on 走過
y tu grand corazón de brasa fría and you huge heart of cold ember 而妳那冷卻餘燼般的寬大之心
se convertió en el agua changed into the water 早已化作滴滴的
de una gota. of a droplet. 水。
It is really amazing how such a common fruit that we see everyday amongst the trolleys of pedlars, the counters of supermarkets or the display trays of fruit shops in summer can be magically transformed into rubies, flags, even fruit shops and cellars, mines, mountains, hemispheres, planets and a green whale by the poetic imagination of Neruda. I really like the way he says how the watermelon wouldn't weigh on those who have partaken of her goodness in the searing heat of South American siestas. According to Neruda, the watermelon simply passes on and converted itself into pure thirst quenching "water"! And the watermelon is compared to a "huge heart of cold ember". "Huge" of course describes not only the water melon physically. It describes even more importantly, her generosity, her magnanimity and her selflessness. The word "grand" in Spanish also carries the sense of great but one cannot possibly translate all the senses and innuendos which the original word carries. I also like the way he plays around with the verb "pesas" and "pasas". which sound so much alike in Spanish, but "pesas" means "weighs" or "weighs down on" but "pasas" is the third person singular present tense of the verb "pasar" which means to pass along, go away, go on etc . The word "plácida" which Neruda uses to describe the watermelon as the queen of the fruit store, can also mean in Spanish "placid, calm, peacerful, quiet". That is why if one does not know the original language a great many of the rich associations of the original words will be irretrievably lost in translations, no matter how good. I like the way he starts off describing the physical conditions creating the urgent need for something to quench the thirst of the South Amerrican summer and how it leads to the final climax of tranformation of the watermelon into the material most direly required to satisfy such need: water. It has been a long build up but when it comes, it is so natural, so ineluctable, so convincing!
Thanks for the food and the translation.
回覆刪除Awaiting for poems...
Thanks for visiting. I shall strive not to disappoint. Good stuffs from great poets shouldn't be left to gather dust or mould in some obscure corner.
回覆刪除其實我對智利詩人聶魯達認識不深,只是透過電影<郵差>、舞台劇<事先張揚的求愛事件>得到了片面的、細碎的印象...個人比較欣賞他的一首詩<亡者>。近年有人以其情詩作為靈感繪畫....書商也推了一些聶魯達詩畫傳之類的東東。
回覆刪除Hope for your next translation ~
Me too. I do not know much about him but I love Spanish culture. I find that although in many ways, they are quite traditional, some of their best artists are really extremely innovative and are not afraid of breaking with tradition, like Lorca, Dali, Miro, Picasso. Neruda is Chilean. He has inherited that Spanish addicition to romantic love and is not afraid of talking about it in public in his poetry. I like Neruda because he is really a people's poet: he is so direct. He poured his heart out in his poetry. He caught my attention when I found a tiny booklet entirely on love when I visited America last year. I read a few whilst browsing at the bookstore there and decided instantly that I'd really like to explore him further. I have already translated the poems in that mini-work of 20 love poem but only into English. I'm thinking of translating them into Chinese but I was told two days ago that someone else has already done do. I haven't seen them yet and so am unable to tell if they are good. In any event, on my next US trip there, I bought a huge volume of his poetry which I am now in the process of reading and digesting. I thought that one of the best ways of reading him actively is actually to translate his poetry from its original language into English and Chinese for my own as well as for the benefit of those who do not know the language. That's what I am doing. I have already applied the same kind of method in my reading of Lorca. I translated the latter's entire collection. I love both poets and would like to publish their works so that the Chinese world may know more about them. They deserve to be better known. .
回覆刪除Sorry, I got cut because my reply was too long. Anyway, I don't know which poem you are referring to when you said you read his 亡者. He has several poems on the subject of death, as far as I am aware. So perhaps you'd be kind enough to let me know its Spanish/English title so that I may share your joy. Whilst translating Lorca, I discovered on the internet that some of his poems have also been translated into Chinese. When I read them, I was furious. They were not translations. They look more like rewriting. That sort of reinforced my intention to give back to Lorca a bit more of his "original" face. 魯 迅 thought that in translation, we must as far as possible retain the original word order and sentence structure so as to let the reader of the translation know how it might have sounded in the original. That's what I try to do in my own translation. But I'm not a professional writer. So I can only do the translations in my spare time. I hope others like them. I'm thinking of starting a Spanish poetry group in Hong Kong so that people who love Spansih poetry may get a chance to get together to exchange ideas about their passion for them. Thanks for visiting. You seem a very talented young artist too. So don't waste your talents.
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