To recover a little from the depression evoked by memories of the ferocity of feminine terrorism in SuperBro's blog, I found it absolutely necessary to seek some relief elsewhere. Thank heaven, there is always hope in the internet. So for those suffering a similar fate, here's something to lighten up the rest of your day.
The Guide to Wife Translations
The wife says: You want
The wife means: You want
The wife says: We need
The wife means: I want
The wife says: It's your decision
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious
The wife says: Do what you want
The wife means: You'll pay for this later
The wife says: We need to talk
The wife means: I need to complain
The wife says: Sure... go ahead
The wife means: I don't want you to
The wife says: I'm not upset
The wife means: Of course I'm upset you moron
The wife says: You're ... so manly
The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot
The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.
The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The wife means: I want a new house.
The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!
The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.
The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!
The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.
The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.
The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like.
The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute.
The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.
The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful.
The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.
The wife says: Are you listening to me?
The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]
The wife says: Yes
The wife means: No
The wife says: No
The wife means: No
The wife says: Maybe
The wife means: No
The wife says: I'm sorry
The wife means: You'll be sorry
The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
The wife means: You better get used to it
The wife says: All we're going to buy is a soap dish
The wife means: I'm coming back with enough to fill this place.
The wife says: Was that the baby?
The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him
The wife says: I'm not yelling!
The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!
In answer to the question "What's wrong?"
The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.
The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.
The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It's just that you're an idiot.
The wife says: I don't want to talk about it.
The wife means: I'm still building up steam.
Have a nice weekend!
Enjoyed your Saturday fun tremendously. They are really good! Here's my share: On their first night to
回覆刪除be together, the newlywed couple go to get changed. The new bride comes out of
the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband
says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe."
The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh, oh,
aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My word, you are so beautiful, let me take
your picture.
Puzzled, she asks, "My picture?"
He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart
forever."
She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to
shower.
He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a
robe? We are married now."
At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "Oh, oh, oh my, let me
get a picture."
He beams and asks, "Why?"
She answers, "So I can get it enlarged."
[版主回覆05/28/2011 23:28:00]Thank you so much for your wedding night joke! Hilarious!
你不怕女恐怖份子綁架嗎
回覆刪除[版主回覆05/28/2011 23:30:00]When you've been held hostage by one, what else do you have to fear!
"Tell me I am beautiful!"
回覆刪除Thank you Elzorro!
[版主回覆05/28/2011 23:33:00]It usually takes a very self confident woman to ask that kind of question. A gentleman seldom disagrees when a woman is dying for compliments that way!
would you have another version about husband
回覆刪除[版主回覆05/28/2011 23:37:00]Do you seriously think I dare run the risk of being sued by the the Equal Opportunities Commission? But you got to wait!
Good morning, my dear old friend! ...Don't you ever say good morning to her ... in bed... she'll just rush to the washroom and blame you...! ...Thank you for all the tips on wife translations... " She's not joking in the morning... Not joking , not permitted in the morning, Joking no more but jogging more and more... In the morning, and only in the morning, The forbidden morning jokes, Morning has broken man's jokes..."
回覆刪除[版主回覆05/31/2011 06:19:00]Some women can't take jokes. Women are creatures of mood. You never know what they want. I don't suppose they do either! So good luck to you.
>> When you've been held hostage by one, what else do you have to fear! <<
回覆刪除[版主回覆05/31/2011 06:21:00]The Chinese have a saying: If you are prepared to die, nothing else scares you!
I can’t help wondering why women are in the habit of making tongue-in-cheek statements. Are they better politicians than men?
回覆刪除[版主回覆05/29/2011 22:47:00]I'm not so sure that they are better politicians. But they certainly are better than men in getting what they want without explicitly saying what it is that they want! To women, words are not words, but merely a chance for them to convey what they want by the peculiar "tone of voice" they use with the relevant words. So it may be wiser to pay more attention, not just to what words they use but what kind of tone they use with the words. I'm sure you don't need any advice from me that you got to look through the mascara of women's words if you really want to understand them!