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2011年9月10日 星期六

Saturday Jest

The recent trip to Taiwan has deluged me with so many photographs that  I'm having a king size headache downloading and uploading them. What a great relief that it's Saturday. Break time at last!  So I just have to post a few jokes. Here they are:




1.  




John:  Mary, I can't buy you a Mercedes like Andy did for his girlfriend, nor do I have a big bank balance or a huge palace like bungalow like him. But I love you more than I love my life................



Mary: 
I love you too!! Sweet heart!! But can you tell me more about Andy?





2. 





A young man finds the woman of his dreams and intends to ask her to marry him. Hoping to add an extra bit of fun to the announcement when he discloses his decision to his Mom, he tells her that he'll bring three girls home the coming weekend. His mother will have to guess which is the one he wants to marry. His mother agrees.


Saturday comes. He shows up at his mother's house with three beautiful young ladies. They all sit down on the couch. Everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other.


At the evening draws to a close, the young man asks his mother, "OK, Mom, which do you think is the one I want to marry?"


Without the slightest hesitation, his mother points to the one sitting in the middle.


The young man is astounded.


"How in the world did you know?"


"Easy," she says. "I don't like her." 







3. Rules by which all Females live:





    1.The FEMALE always makes the rules.


   2. The RULES are subject to change at any time without prior notification...by the FEMALE.


    3.  No MALE can possibly know all the RULES.


    4.  If the FEMALE suspects the male knows all the RULES, she must immediately change some or all of them.


    5.  If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the MALE did or said.


    6.  If so, the MALE must apologize immediately to her for causing the misunderstanding.


    7.  The FEMALE  may change her mind at any time.


    8.  The MALE must never change his mind without the express consent of the FEMALE.


    9.  The FEMALE has the right to be angry or upset at any time.


    10. The MALE must remain calm at all times unless the FEMALE  permits him to be otherwise.

    11. The FEMALE must, under no circumstances, let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.


    12. The MALE is expected to "mind read" her thoughts at all times.


    13. Any MALE who doesn't abide by THE RULES is a wimp who can't take the heat or lacks backbone.


    14. The FEMALE  is ready when she is ready.


    15.  The MALE must be ready when she is ready. 


    16.  Any attempt to document THE RULES will result in actual bodily harm.




Have a pleasant weekend and Mid-Autumn Festival.