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2015年6月27日 星期六

Saturday Fun (星期六趣味)

The 20th and 21st centuries are different from all other centuries. What do I mean? Previously people appear to know and accept that we can't be happy all of the time. Now we we are daily confronted by people who are obsessed with "feeling good" all of the time, people who think of ordinary unhappiness as a disease or a disorder which somehow must be be kicked out from their lives in the shortest possible span of time and if they are not able to stay in a permanently "happy" condition, which they think is something they are naturally "entitled to" and in America, even something "guaranteed" by their Constitution, they seek the advice and assistance of so-called "life coaches" or therapists and counselors or in some cases, of mood lifting drugs, with or without a doctor's prescription. The shelves of our bookstores are lined with thousands of titles on "how to..." achieve happiness on all kinds of area of personal lives and those who claim to have special insights into the workings of human emotion will probably have to face the persistent headaches of trying to sort out their appointment book for counseling sessions or workshops. People do say the most incredible things during such "life coaching" sessions.The following are some real life examples:

1. On Conflict Resolution
I don't want to solve my conflict - I want revenge!


2. On IQ Test
I took an intelligence test and the results were negative.

3. On Making Decisions
I don't know whether to have a baby or to get a dog.

4. On Dating

I spent a lot of money on opera, dinner and drinks - and she didn't invite me home.
My son doesn't know that his girlfriend is a bad choice. She's the exact opposite of me.

5. On Admitting Mistakes
I am willing to make mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
I am willing to make mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them

6. On Problem Solving
A good solution to my problem would be someone I can blame.

7. On making changes in one's life

I don't want to change anything - I just want to complain


8. On being Unique

Of course I'm unique - just like everyone else.

9. On Using the one's Imagination

I do use my imagination - I'm really suspicious.

10. On Relaxing
When I want to relax I think about ways I can get revenge.

11. On Mate Relationships
Women should say "Yes" or "No" quickly to save unnecessary effort.

12. On taking Responsibility
I do take responsibility for my actions, when they are not someone else's fault.

13. On Building up one's Personality
I do accept my personality problems - without them I would have no personality.

14. On being Nice to Others
First I say nice things about myself, then, I do nice things for myself, then I find someone to buy nice things for me.

15. On Having Excessive Passive Enjoyment
I do NOT sit in my living room watching TV all day. I also have a TV in my bedroom.

16.  On trying to find out where it went wrong
Who do I blame for my problems? ... I can always find someone to blame!

17. On matrimonial Dilemma
How can I divorce my wife without telling her? She will be very angry.

18. On seeking Self-Understanding
Only people as intelligent as I am can possibly understand me.

19. On the problem of Excessive Lying
I don't want to tell so many lies but I do want to keep my job.

20. On marital relationship
My wife helps me appreciate how very wonderful is my girlfriend.

21. On the need to understand one's Past
Why should I waste time learning from my past when I am worrying about my future?

22. On the need of talking about relationships
If a relationship works - there's not much to talk about; and if it doesn't work - there's nothing to talk about.

23. On the need to see humor in Life
I find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.

24. On the need to change

I want to change my future.
I don't want to change anything - I just want to complain.
25. On the trauma of death
My boyfriend had a heart attack while making love to me. I didn't know that people could die so happy.

26. On finding the ideal mate
All I want is a partner who is rich, sexy, educated, charming and who loves me.

27. On Less than ideal Relationship
What is it about me that attracts idiots?

28. On Dealing with one's problems
Please make it didn't happen!

29. On Trying to solve relationship problems
My husband made me come to see you. I want you to prove him wrong.

30. On Childish behavior
What's wrong with acting childishly? Even children can do it.

31. On the Need to Suffer a bit in Silence
Why should I suffer in silence when I can complain?

There you're, your "happiness freaks"  for the week..


Have a nice weekend