An Unbearable Wait

I went to a meeting last night. It was a meeting called "Safe House". The event was organized by a new organization I joined a few month ago. It's called the United Universalists. It is a small group of people who find the traditional religions too exclusive, too restrictive, too conservative in their thinking and which therefore are trying to build together a new kind of spirituality more in line with postmodern conditions of life within which plurality and respect for individual differences will be much more highly valued. The organization permits participation by all its members and welcomes even current or ex- Protestants, Catholics, Muslims, Judaists, Buddhists, Taoists, Confucianists and the adherents of any other religion and even atheists. Last Saturday, we were discussing how to build a morality without a God or gods. Last night, we invited a former Catholic and now a Buddhist monk of more than 20 years standing to give a talk on why he switched from being a computer engineer to practising as a Buddhist monk.

When I arrived, I found the metal gate to the small Mongkok flat closed. Did I make a mistake about the date? I didn't think so. Didn't I hear the president say that we should meet again Monday when we broke off last Saturday? Was it the next Monday that he was talking about?  That was possible. But didn't I  read in the email notification that it would be held on Monday at the same place. I just read that on Sunday! But if so, why was there a lock upon the iron gate and there did not appear to be any single ray of light from the crevice below the base of the door? What time was it? I switched on my cell phone. It showed 7.25 p.m. Perhaps they cancelled it for some reason or other and had already sent out a notice on the internet. I should have checked before I came! Anyway, it was too late. Surely, I could call the president. I swtiched on my mobile. Contacts. Yes, that's it. I moved it down the list. His name was not there! Shit. I was sure I wrote his telephone down on a tiny slip of paper about the telephone numbers of the people I needed to call more frequently and had asked our office receptionist to enter the relevant numbers there. Why was his telephone number not there? Oh yes, I forgot to pay the charges shortly before my recent holidays and my phone got disconnected and I had to get a new number because by the time I paid, it was over due too long! But I did get the new list in again. Perhaps I forgot to include his name in the list or the receptionist was too busy answering the phones and by the time she resumed the task, she omitted his name. Or did I press the list of contact too quickly and missed? I started from the beginning of the contact list again, one by one, this time more slowly. No. His name was definitely not there! Nevermind, I could look for that slip of paper. I always kept it in my purse. I looked. It was not there.

There was hope yet. His name card! I looked within my purse. No. It was not there. Oh yes, before I left for the holidays, I removed all those name cards and also that tiny handwritten telephone list which I did not need, to reduce the bulk of my purse when I would be in America. 

It was really impossible! Surely if I was right about the day of the meeting, there ought to be others besides me in that claustrophobic lift hall before the entrance to the flat! But it was obvious I was the only one. Maybe the others would soon come. It was not yet 7.30 p.m. I listened intently to the tiniest occasional rumbling of the lift cable. Yes, there were sounds of the lift door opening from time to time. But not at my floor! Maybe I really made a mistake! Maybe it had really been cancelled last minute. But surely the President could have called me if that were really so. He had my number. I remember I gave it to him that time at the Mongkok MTR station when he handed me those books about building your own theology! Maybe he thought the internet notice which I did not read was sufficient!

Should I wait or should I go? What's the point of waiting alone in that tiny space for a meeting which had been cancelled. I did not have time for dinner before I came. Since I was already there and there are plenty of restaurants in the area, perhaps I should just have dinner somewhere nice before going home, as a consolation for the missed meeting and then make use of the time I originally set aside for the meeting for translating more of Machado's poems. I surely got a lot of them waiting to be translated. Yes, not a bad idea at all. I surely could use the time. I wouldn't have wasted my time. I need to eat in any event! Yes, that's what I was going to do!

The lift door opened. Two people came out, a male and a female. The male was maybe late 30s or early 40s, hair in a fairly advanced state of thinning out, dark skin on his wrinkle lined face, big nose, thick lips, big eyes below bushy black eyebrows, in a rough textured blue T-shirt and blue jeans. The female in mid-30s had short hair, a thin straight nose with big nostrils, thin lips without any lip gloss, intelligent but sharp eyes, fairly white unpowdered skin, in a white shirt with a dun colored small floral Indian looking patterned silk shawl over her slim shoulders and a smile over her face. "You coming for UU meeting?" , I asked. "Yes", they said, eyeing me in polite surprise at just one man standing there. I could breathe again!