Saturday Shopping

For many, weekends often mean laundry and the week's groceries etc. For women, when all is done, and for their hapless male companions, even before that, it's often the time when they'll drag along their loved ones to be their coolie cum driver and ultimate beneficiary of their bills whilst they merrily engage in their favourite pastime: shopping. Once in a mall, you'll often have a difficult time to trace their whereabouts. So here's some well-tested tips for men who want to find their wife in a busy mall. It has a success rate of well over 90%. So, what to do? To find your wife, follow these four point instructions, the technique seldom fails.

    1. Have a look around at the shoppers, then walk up to the prettiest girl in the store.
    2. Say to her, 'Excuse me, can you help me?  I cannot see my wife, and I know that she is here in the shopping mall somewhere.  Can you just talk to me for a couple of minutes?'
    3. The pretty girl will ask: 'Why?'
    4. You reply: 'Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife materialises out of thin air.'

Here's another tale from another shopper Mason.

Mason watched as a woman at the shopping mall shopped with a four-year-old girl.
As they approached the sweet section the little girl asked for some liquorice sticks and her mother told her, 'No'.
The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss.  The mother said softly, 'Now Cindy, our shopping is going well, Don't be upset.........we'll soon be out of here.'
Presently, they came to the aisle where the ice cream was on offer and the little girl began to ask for an ice lolly.  When told she couldn't have one she began to cry.  The mother said gently, 'There, there, Cindy, don't cry. Only two more aisles to go and then we'll be at the check out' .
When they got to the conveyor belt the little girl immediately began to demand sweets next to the checkout.  Finally she threw a tantrum when her mother would not let her have any sweets.  The mother, calmed her saying, 'Cindy, we'll be through this queue in two minutes and then we can go home and have a glass of squash and a nap.'
Mason followed them out to the car park and stopped the woman to compliment her on her child management.
'I couldn't help admiring how patient you were with little Cindy,' Mason said.
The mother turned and replied, 'Oh, no, I'm Cindy. My little girl's name is Dorothy."

Have a fun weekend!