New Year Resolutions

   


Just saw the "ball drop" at Times Square on TV:  all those people with glasses in hand,  hurrahs, dancing, kissing and hugging each other or merely watching.

For some, new years would not be new years without those firm decisions popularly called "New Year Resolutions" including one that this year, they'll most definitely actually carry them out.

Here are some:

1.  I shall be inventive and will not bore my boss by with the same excuses for being absent or late for work.


2.  I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!


3. I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

4.  I will give up chocolates totally.


5. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

6. I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet.


Some say that age often makes us wiser. Can't agree more. Examples? New Year resolutions over the years:

2005: I will get my weight down below 160.
2006: I will watch my calories until I get above 170.
2007: I will follow my new diet religiously until I'm above 180.
2008: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2009: I will work out 5 days a week.
2010: I will work out 3 days a week.
2011: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

Instead of making resolutions which I rarely keep, this year, I shall definitely be different. I shall make some that I'm sure I can keep, like following:

1. I shall stop exercising. They're a complete waste of time.

3. I shall read less.

4. I shall watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.

5. I shall procrastinate more.

6. I shall drink some more.

7. I shall quit giving money & time to charity.

9. I shall spend more time at work surfing on the internet

10. I shall postpone paying my debts

11. I shall set so many priorities that they shall forever be beyond my ability to keep track of them.

12. I shall focus even more on the faults of other





When I thought about the evils of breaking new year resolutions or of drinking, I gave up thinking.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

Now where the hell is that damned bottle I just saw a while ago!