Saturday Fun (星期六笑話)

There are few who don't like chocolates. For that reason, there are few things people won't do to get a piece, a ball, a lump or a bar of that delicious dark stuff into their mouth. Chocolates are always fun.


1,

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in northern Arizona when she saw an feathered elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
Since her trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman.
The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to Sally. "What in bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the white bag and said, "It's a box of chocolates. I got it for my husband".
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: "Good trade."

2.

A man found a bottle on the beach. He opened it and out popped a genie, who gave the man three wishes.
The man wished for a million dollars, and poof! There was a million dollars.
Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! There was a convertible.
And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women... Poof! He turned into a box of chocolates.
                   
3.

A young girl was at the dentist for a check up. With much tutting, the dentist examined all her teeth.
Finally he announced crossly "Young lady, you've been eating far too many sweet things, several of your teeth need filling."
"Oh goody!" she replied happily. "Can I have chocolate filling please?"

4.

 Some think that chocolates are better than sex. Here's why?

   a.   the average piece of chocolate is at least six inches long.
   b.   Chocolates stay hard for a week.
   c.   A chocolate never suffers from performance anxiety.
   d.  Chocolates are easy to pick up.
   e. You can fondle chocolates in a supermarket …and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
   f.  You can go to the movie with a chocolate … and see the movie.
   g. Chocolate can always wait until you get home.
   h. A chocolate won’t ask: “Am I the first!”
   i. Chocolates won’t tell other chocolates you’re a virgin or not.
   j. Chocolates won’t write your name and number on the men’s room wall.
   k Chocolates won’t make you wear kinky clothes.
   l. A chocolate won’t eat all your food or drink all your liquor.
   m. You can have as many chocolates as you can handle.
   n. You only eat chocolates when you feel like it.
   o. Chocolates aren’t jealous of your Gynecologist, or hair dresser.
    p. chocolate won’t want to join your support group.
    q. A chocolate never wants to improve your mind.
    r. Chocolates aren’t into meaningful conversations.
    s. Chocolates won’t ask about your last lover…or speculate about your next one.
    t. A chocolate will never make a scene because there are other chocolates in the refrigerator.
    u. A chocolate won’t mind hiding in the refrigerator when needed
    v. No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh chocolate.
    w, Chocolates can handle rejection.
    x. A chocolate won’t pout if you have a headache.
    y. A chocolate won’t care what time of the month it is.
    z. Chocolates don’t leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest, or drool on the pillow.
  
 There are so many others. Can you think of any? Have fun during the weekend!