Saturday Fun

  
We often think that it's nice to have friends. Friends help us when we need it, will tell us where we got it wrong and keep us company....But sometimes, you'll have no idea what they'll say or do.  What do I mean?


1.  

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them.
The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."

2.

Two buddies Tom and Harry were hunting for gold in the desert.
After roaming all day long under the hot sun, they set up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, Tom woke up his friend.
"Harry look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Harry looked up and replied, "I can see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" asked Tom.
Harry thought for a minute and said.
"It tells me astronomically that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
After a moment of silence, Tom spoke.
"It tells two things to me. First is that...you are an idiot."
Harry looked at Tom, surprised. "Why do you say so?" he said.
"Because it has still not occurred to you that someone has stolen our tent." replied Tom.

3.

Tom and Timothy were in the same regiment in the army. They were inseparable and spent their evenings drinking together.
After retirement, they went to different states and settled. However, they kept correspondence through letters and e-mails.
To keep the memory of their boozing bouts alive, Tom always filled two glasses with rum and water and sipped from each alternately!
When somebody asked him why he did so, he explained: 'This glass is Timothy's; this one is mine. So I take a sip from each - one on behalf of Timothy, the other for myself.'
Suddenly one evening Tom was seen with only one glass on his table. He was asked what had happened. He replied, 'You see, I have given up drinking but Timothy has written that he has not. So I have put away my glass and drink only on behalf of my friend.'

It looks a wonderful day. Have a nice weekend outdoors.