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2014年3月22日 星期六

Saturday Fun (星期六歡樂)

There are so many ads nowadays about hairsprays, shampoos, lip gloss, nail polish,  skin whitening, "miracle" formulas for reducing waistlines and unwanted muscles dangling behind thighs and upper arms, X-day programme for bust- boosting etc and "fashion" that sometimes I wonder if half the population of the civilized world do not live by the motto: give me beauty or give me death. I shudder to think of all the tortures which those unpredictable creatures called women are prepared to endure just to "appear" more beautiful than they are. But the beauty business may be a source of fun too. 


1.

Monster: Im so ugly. 
Ghost: Its not that bad! 
Monster: It is! 
Ghost: What the hell are you talking about?
Monster: When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When my father was born they just passed out cigarettes. When I was born they simply passed out.

2. 

Boy: Last night I dreamt I was dancing with the most beautiful girl in the world?
Girl:  Wow.  What was I wearing ?
Boy: She wasn't wearing anything. 

3. 

Mary:       My boyfriend thinks I'm so so beautiful !
Martha:    Didn't they say that love is blind ?

4. 

John:  I can't understand why people say my girlfriend's legs look like matchsticks.
Jack:  For me, they do look a bit like sticks - but they certainly don't match.

5. 

Wife:          I don't think these photographs you've taken do me justice.
Husband:   You don't want justice - you want mercy !

6. 

Girlfriend: Will you love me when I grow old and fat and ugly?
Boyfriend: If you'll pardon me were I to tell you what my eyes tell me, I'd say that the growing part does seem entirely unnecessary. 

7. 

Mary: Do you think my sister is pretty ?
Gary: Well, let's just say that if were you to pull her pigtail, she'd probably say "oink, oink"


The weather seems to have gone a little cooler and there ain't no clouds in the sky. Have some fun out there this weekend.


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