Saturday Disappointments

After three days of rain and six days of sado-masochism, I think it's about time for a little fun. But I'm afraid that this weekend will be a day of disappointments. Don't worry. You'll still have your jokes.

                                  1

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much.

One day, while walking through the woods, they came across a golden frog.

They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He told them that they could have 3 wishes each.

Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish.

Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately. He placed it on his head.

Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish.

He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well. The frog granted his second wish.

Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him. He climbed on board and started revving up the engine.

Mr. Bear could not believe it. He complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could very well have had for himself.

Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish.

He wished that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog replied that it had been done.

They both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.

Mr. Rabbit revved up the engine, thought for a second, and said, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" then rode off at 120 miles per hour.

                              2

"What am I?"

"Don't worry. I'll give you six clues. Here they are:

1. I am a common object of use, quite often enjoyed by both sexes.

2. I'm normally about 5 or 6 inches long, with little hairs on one end and a hole on the other.

3. For most of the day my head is down but I am ready for instant action when touched by someone's fingers.

4. When in use, I move back and forth and in 'n' out a warm, moist hole.

5. When my work is done, a white, slushy, sticky mush is left behind and I return to my original position.

6. Cleaning is usually done after I am."

"What am I?"

"Why, I am your very own ...............................................................Toothbrush!"

"Now, what were you thinking, you pervert?"              
                                   3

Mr. White, the biology professor at a posh suburban girl's school, asked during class, "Miss Smith, would you name the organ in the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times it's normal size, and define the conditions."

Miss Smith gasped, then said snottily, "Mr. White, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you that my parents will hear of this."

With that, she sat down red-faced.

Unperturbed, Mr. White called on Miss Jones, and asked the same question.

With perfect composure, Miss Jones replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."

"Well done, Miss Jones," said Mr. White.

"Now, Miss Smith, I have three things to say to you: one, you have not studied your lessons. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will someday be faced with a dreadful disappointment."

Have a nice week end!