Jingle Bell ! Jingle Bell ! Jingle all the way ! Oh What fun it is to have Santa on his way. Christmas is just around the corner. Santa is here with his bag of fun. Here's some that I have downloaded from the internet.
1. "Waiter - There's a Fly in My Champagne"
A multi-national company held a reception to celebrate Christmas.
The waiter gave each guest a glass of champagne, but on inspection, each guest noticed that their glass contained a fly.
The Swede asked for new champagne in the same glass.
The Englishman demanded to have new champagne in a new glass.
The Finn picked out the fly and drank the champagne.
The Russian drank the champagne, fly and all.
The Israeli caught the fly and sold it to the Chinese.
The Italian drank two thirds of the champagne and then demanded to have a new glass.
The Norwegian took the fly and went off to fish.
The Irishman ground the fly and mixed it in the champagne, which he then donated to the Englishman
The American sued the restaurant and claimed $5 million in compensation.
The Scotsman grabbed the fly by the throat and shouted, 'Now spit out all that you swallowed.'
2. Why some women may think it's better to be Santa Claus
1. There'd be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the office.
2. Buy one big brown or black belt and you'd be accessorized for life.
3. You'd always work in sensible footwear.
4.
Juggling work and family would be easy. All your children would adore
you; even your teenagers would want to sit in your lap.
5. You could grow a tummy the size of Texas and consider it a job requirement .
3. Why a Christmas tree is better than a man
1. A Christmas tree is always erect.
2. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.
3. A Christmas tree always looks good - even with the lights on.
4. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.
5. You can throw a Christmas tree out when Christmas is over and you don't have to put up with it all year round!.
Merry Christmas. Just make sure you're sober enough to drive.
A lady is said to be a Christmas tree if she has too many accesories on. Is this a compliment or an insult? What do you think?
回覆刪除Merry Christmas!
[版主回覆12/24/2012 09:10:07]What do you think? How many is "too many"? Whatever the answer may be, a very merry Christmas to you.
Seems that you have intentionally omitted the Chinese.
回覆刪除Wonder what the Chinese did with the fly after having bought it from the Israeli?
[百了回覆12/27/2012 16:49:03]The Chinese must bought the fly with counterfeit money.
[版主回覆12/22/2012 13:42:20]The Chinese would probably bottle it, keep it for a long time and then, sell it as "nutritive wine"! Or they may pick it out, cover it with flour batter and then fry it as a delicacy called "drunken fried fly"!
Merry Christmas!
回覆刪除[版主回覆12/22/2012 15:14:52]Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you too.
回覆刪除[版主回覆12/22/2012 19:18:33]You too, must take time off to relax !
Rather be Santa Claus than a Christmas tree.
回覆刪除Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.
[版主回覆12/23/2012 07:53:55]I think I can well understand why !
Just wonder if the "fly" was a Spanish fly and it was added as a Christmas surprise to all the male guests?
回覆刪除Glad that the Mayan prophecy did not materialise and we could still enjoy the pleasure of reading your weekend jokes! What a blessing! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family!
[版主回覆12/23/2012 19:37:15]Who knows? Perhaps that was the idea! Maybe it's the idea of the lady in charge of human resources department? I don't know about the others, if it's the end of the world, I'm sure I shall be in good company. So I'm not worried at all. Anyway, a very merry Christmas to you and those near and dear to you !