Saturday Fun (週六樂趣)

 Ah Saturday! For some time now, Saturdays have meant a mix of apprehension and a certain expectancy. Time for fun sure! But to be delivered by me! But there's always help. The internet. What would one do without that wonderful invention. So a few quick hits on the keyboard and there's more than I can chew. Here're some quotes by the famous and not so famous, the most intelligent and not so intelligent minds around .

1. 

 “The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”
― Marjorie Pay Hinckley 

“Everybody knows if you are too careful you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something. ”
― Gertrude Stein

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
― Elbert Hubbard
 

2.

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

3.

For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”
― Dave Barry

“Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.”
― Niels Bohr
 

4. 

“A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.”
“To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.”
“Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.”
“The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.”
― Oscar Wilde 


5.

“I don't deserve a soul, yet I still have one. I know because it hurts.”
― Douglas Coupland, The Gum Thief

6. 

“I don't hate people. I just feel better when they aren't around.”
― Charles Bukowski

7.
“Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.”
― Robert Orben

8. 

“I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.”
“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”
―Terry Pratchett

9.

“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”
― Gloria Steinem

10.

“If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”
― Lawrence Ferlinghetti

11. 

“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”
― George Carlin

12.

“I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.”

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
― Woody Allen

13.

“I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine.”
― Peter Ustinov 

There you are, 13 items to make you laugh and perhaps even think a little. Have a nice weekend.