Saturday Guitar Fun (週末結他樂)

It's all guitar sounds in my brain now, perhaps a "hang-over" from last night's concert? Whatever it maybe, here's some more guitar fun.

First some Q & A's on guitars and guitarists.

Q: How do you make him stop playing?
A: Put notes on it!

Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist?
A: Pick on someone your own size!

Q: What's the definition of a minor second?
A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison.

Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
A: Counterpoint.

Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
A: Give him a sheet of music.

Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, "Not bad, but I could've done better".

Q: What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?
A: Would you like fries with that?

Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?
A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

And here're some reasons why guitars are better than women:


    Guitars don't get pregnant.
    You can play your Guitar any time of the month.
    Guitars don't have parents.
    Guitars don't whine... unless you want them to.
    You can share your Guitar with your friends.
    Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you've played
    Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you have.
    Guitars don't care if you look at other Guitars.
    Guitars don't care if you buy Guitar magazines.
    You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to proud father of a new Guitar" unless you go out to buy one yourself.
    If your Guitar is flat you can fix it.
    Your Guitar doesn't care if you never listen to it.
    Your Guitar won't care if you leave up the toilet seat.
    You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Guitar.
    If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don't have to apologize before you play it again.
    You can play your Guitar as long as you want and it won't get sore.
    You can stop playing your Guitar as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
    Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Guitar after you dump it.
    Guitars don't get headaches.
    Guitars don't insult you if you're a bad player.
    Your Guitar never wants a night out with the other Guitars.
    Guitars don't care if you're late.
    You don't have to take a shower before you play your Guitar.
    If your Guitar doesn't look good you can refinish it or get new parts.
    You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
    The only protection you have to wear when playing your Guitar is a decent thumb pick.
    When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great time you had the last time you played your Guitar.

and last, but not least:

    If you decide to part with an old Guitar, you don't have to give up half of everything you own.

Have a fun weekend. I'm going to listen to some more guitar greats.