Since picking up the camera a couple of years ago, I'm beginning to get a little the hang of things. Whatever the results may be, taking photographs is fun. But that may not be the only kind. We may have not only the fun "of "photography but also fun "about" those who engage in it. What do I mean?
1.
A group of artists are invited for dinner by a famous chef.
Greeting the photographer, the chef says, "I love your photos, they’re wonderful, you must have a very expensive camera"
The photographer doesn’t reply and walks into the dining room.
After dinner the photographer approaches the chef and says: " Dinner was sensational, very exquisite flavors, a true work of art, you must have a very sophisticated stove.”
2.
Two photographers are in the men’s room at the urinal.
One guy is a Canonian and the other a Nikonian.
The Nikon guy finishes his business first.
He simply zips his fly and heads for the door.
As he was leaving, the Canon guy turns his head towards him and says “Excuse me, Canon photographers wash our hands when we are finished urinating”.
The Nikon guy says ” I understand, but us Nikon guys don’t pee on our hands”
3.
Q: What’s wrong with most cameras that won’t take good pictures?
A: The nut behind the viewfinder!
4.
If an old man asks a young girl for a date…
That’s his business.
If the young girl accepts…
That’s her business.
If the old man and the girl decide to marry…
That’s their business.
However, if they want great wedding photographs…
THAT’S the wedding photographer's BUSINESS!!!
5.
Q: What's the quickest way to make money from photography?
A: Sell your camera.
6.
Minolta makes the best bodies.
Nikon makes the best lenses.
Canon makes the best compromise.
7.
Jimmy Olsen: “I didn’t have my camera with me.”
Perry White: “A photographer eats with his camera, a photographer sleeps with his camera!”
Lois Lane: “I’m glad I’m a writer.”
8.
Top ten reasons to date a photographer:
They work well in the dark
They’re used to funny smells
They make things develop
They work well on many settings
They know how to focus
They can make big things look small and small things look big
They work well from many different angles
They zoom in and out. And in and out and in and out and in and out…
They shoot in many different locations
They can find the beauty in anything
9.
A photo journalist photographer was caught out in a rain shower when he saw a dark gloomy house.
While he was drying off in the house he heard scary sounds and saw a ghost coming towards him.
He grabbed his camera to take pictures.
When the ghost asked him what he was doing, he said “I just want to take your picture for the newspaper.”
The ghost was glad for the exposure and posed for the photographer.
When his film was all done he thanked the ghost and rushed to his office to get the film developed.
When he saw the results he was terribly disappointed. They all came out black – they were all underexposed.
The moral of the story?
The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.
10.
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.
The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown.
Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting.
He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, “Let’s go!”
The tense man sitting in the pilot’s seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.
“Fly over the north side of the fire, ” said the photographer, “and make several low-level passes.”
“Why?” asked the nervous pilot.
“Because I’m going to take pictures!” yelled the photographer.
“I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!”
The pilot replied, “You mean you’re not the flight instructor?”
11.
There was this photographer in one of the most remote parts of the African continent on an assignment.
He came across a primitive village where the residents were living in thatched huts and wearing colorful primitive garments.
He approached a man who appeared to be the chief who was wearing a large headdress made of woven hemp and colorful feathers.
The photographer, not knowing how to speak to him, pointed to his camera then to the chief. The chief nodded.
As the photographer was taking a meter reading the chief said “today use f/16 at 1/125 for ISO 100 film”.
12.
St Peter and Lucifer were at the gates admiring the clouds when the subject got onto photography.
They couldn’t agree whether Heaven or Hell had the best photographers so they decided to arrange a photo contest.
St Peter rubbed his hands with glee and Lucifer demanded to know why he was looking so smug. “Well,” said St Peter, “in Heaven we have all the best photographers”
Lucifer slowly raised his head, grinned and replied “Ah, but we have all the judges…”
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