Saturday Fun (星期六歡笑)

Snakes must be one of the most dangerous reptiles around. Perhaps that's why most people have an instinctive aversion to them and upon seeing them, most women would scream. And we got good reasons to react so. According to the Bible, it was a snake who got mankind into the kind of trouble the effects of which they are still suffering today .That's what I was thinking when I saw one whilst hiking to Mui Wo. But like other cases, there's more than one way of looking at snakes.

1 

Two snakes are talking.
The first one says 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'.
Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?"
The first one replies: "I just bit my lip!"


2. 

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop! right on his twitchy little nose.
"Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see."
"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake.
"To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"
Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."
So the snake felt the bunny all over and then he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose... You must be a bunny rabbit!"
Then he said, "I can't thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are you?"
And the snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when he was done, the snake said, "Well, what kind of an animal am I?"
The bunny replied, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy and you haven't got any balls... You must be a politician."

3. 


An old snake goes to see his Doctor.
"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days".
The Doctor fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.
The Doctor says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"

4. 


A man and a woman decided to get married but didn't have children no matter how hard they tried and adopted a boy about 5.
One day, the man told the woman that he was going to have a shower but the little boy said "I want to get in the shower tooooooooo"
He agreed but told the boy: "Whatever you do don’t look down"
Of course, the boy did and asked “What is that, daddy?”
The man said, "My snake" .
Once they get out of the shower, the mom said she'd like to have a shower too.
The the little boy again whined, "But I want to have a shower tooooooooo"
So they both went in and Mom told the boy, "Whatever you do don’t look up or down "
Of course the boy did and when he looked up, he asked, "What's that mommy?" and Mom told him that  those were her headlights.
Then when he looked down and he said, "What is that ,mom?"
She told him that that was her garden.
That night the mom and dad got into their bed and the little boy said, "But I want to get into the bed too".
They let him.
In the middle of the night the little boy said, “Mommy Mommy turn on your headlights there’s a Snake in your Garden."

and finally, 

5. a definition of a species of reptile: 

ERECTUS TROUSERIUS” or The Trouser Snake: The world's most dangerous snake. Colour varies from pink to black. It’s fangless, average length 5 – 6 inches (although some are said to reach 8 inches depending on honesty of its owner) it appears usually in bedrooms attacking women in the mouth or lower abdominal area. Its highly venomous spit can cause swelling lasting 9 months! Some mutant species are also known to attack men from behind!

It's sunny out there. So don't waste the sunshine and go out into the countryside but just make sure that you'll won't be bitten by that most dangerous species of reptile around!