After the busy weekend, there's finally time to return to my first love, French poetry. I shall do a translation of a poem by one of the most influential modern French poets. He is Charles Baudelaire (1821-1867), the French translator of the works of Edgar Alan Poe, himself a writer and poet. He studied to become a lawyer but never finished his studies, being a student at the Ecole de Droit in 1840. He joined the revolution of 1848. He is famous for his Les Fleurs du Mal or Flowers of Evil., 101 skilfully written lyrical poems, including many sonnets.
Previously, poets only treated beautiful subjects. Rarely did any poet write about things which were ugly, dirty, squalid, disgusting, gross, nauseating, revolting, vulgar, vile, sickening or loathsome. Baudelaire was the first one to do so. He wrote about what he saw in the Paris of mid-19th century when industry was starting to put up ugly steel structures everywhere and Paris became a city where there mushroomed dingy hotels, brothels, bars, dirty streets, soiled bedsheets, foul smell, filthy bodies and messy minds. The Paris we see today, with its wide boulevards, museums, gardens and sunny terraces of open air cafes was not rebuilt until the 1870 when Baron von Hauusmann who has one of the boulevards named after him, started the present city planning of Pairs centred around the L'Arche de Triomphe at the Place d'Étoile and at its opposite end the Obelisk brought back by Napoleon as a war trophy from Egypt . Baudelaire wrote about that half world of drunks, prostitutes, clochards and down and out people and the transient pleasures they found in love on retail. . When his poems first appeared, there were efforts by the conservatives to suppress their publication and six of his poems were in fact banned by court order because of "outrage to public decency.", obsenity, blasphemy: Lesbos, Femmes damnéees--Dephine et Hippolyte, Le lèthé, A celle qui es trop gaie, Les Bijoux and Les Métamophoses du vampire. But to Baudelaire, the beauty of conception and style was sufficient. He did not think that the poet ought to concern himself with public morals. He saw himself as a fallen angel. He always lived beyond his means, as a dandy, depending upon his father's inheritance, indulging in alcohol, drugs and debauchery and eventually died of syphillis. His natural father was a 60 year old ex priest who married his mother then 26. After his father died, his mother remarried and he could never accept this because he worshipped his mother. His stepfather was a senator and treated him fairly well. He emphasized in his poetry sense, sound, smells and thought that the various senses might be interchangeable into each other in a kind of structural correspondence buried deep within the human psyche.
Baudelaire found a kind of paradoxical beauty in that world of squalor, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, hashish, opium, cheap thrills, and transient one night stands, decadence, decay, darkness and even death. The poem I am translating relates to ambiguous beauty that hovers around the fuzzy borders between light and darkness, heaven and hell. Here it is:
Hymne a la Beaute Hymn to Beauty 美之頌
Viens-tu du ciel profond ou sors-tu de l'abime, Do you come the deep space or go from the abyss 噢美, 你來自奧天還是出自深淵？
O Beauté? Ton regard, infernal et divin Your gaze, hellish and heavenly, 你的凝視, 如地獄與天堂，
Verse confusément le bienfait et le crime pours in confusion good deed and crime 混淆地瀉下善行與罪行，
Et l’on peut pour cela te comparer au vin. And so one can compare you to wine 故此人得視你為酒。
Tu contiens dans ton oeil le couchant et l'aurore; You hold within your eyes the sleep and dawn 你眼內藏落日與黎明
Tu répands des parfums comme un soir orageux; You pour perfumes like a stormy night 你猶暴風雨之夜般傾瀉你的香氣
Tes baisers sont un philtre et ta bouche une amphore Your kisses are love potions and your mouth an urn 你吻如催情葯而你嘴如窄頸瓶
Qui font le héros lâche et l'enfant courageous which make heros lazy and boys brave 使英雄喪胆而小童勇悍
Sors-tu du gouffre noir ou descends-tu des astres? Do you go out from the dark gulf or drop from the stars?你出自黑淵還是從星星墜下
Le Destin charmé suit tes jupons comme un chien; Your charmed life follows your petticoat like a dog你著魔的命運如狗般跟從；
Tu sèmes au hazard la joie et les désastres, You sow joy and disaster at random 你隨意散播歡樂與災難
Et tu governes tout et ne reponds de rien. You rule all et answer to none. 你操控–切而不聰命於任何人。
Tu marche sur des morts, Beauté, dont tu te moques;You walk over the dead, Beauty, whom you mock ; 美，你踐踏着你輕蔑的死者；
De tes bijoux l'Horreur n'est pas le moins charmant, Horror is not the least charming of your jewels. 恐怖不是你珠寶中最迷人者
Et le Meurre, parmi tes plus chère breloques, and Murder, among your dearest trinket 死亡亦不是你廉價飾物中最心愛者，
Sur ton ventre orgueillleux danse amoreusement. over your proud belly dances amorously.在你驕傲之肚皮上，充滿愛意地舞蹈吧。
L'éphemère éblouis vole vers toi, chandelle, Dazzling epherema flies towards you, 花燭，閃亮的蜉蝣正向你飛撲過來，
Crépire, flame et dit: Bénissons ce flambeau! crackle, flames and say: we bless this torch! 火焰，卜卜作響，說：我們同祝聖這火炬!
L'armoreux pantelant incliné sur sa belle, The panting lovers bends over his beauty, 氣噓噓的愛侶將身挪近其美人
A l'aire d'un moribond carressant son tombeau. like a dying man caressing his grave. 猶垂死者愛撫其墓
Que tu viennes du ciel ou le 'enfer, qu'importe, Who cares whether you come from heaven or hell, 有誰者緊你來自天堂成或地獄
O Beauté! monstre énorme,effrayant, ingénu! O Beauty! huge monster, frightening, artless! 噢美！龐大，嚇人，不懂造作！
Si ton oeil, ton souris, ton pied, m'ouvrent la porte If you eye, your smiles, your foot, open to me只要你眼睛，笑容，小腳向
D'un Infini que j'aime et n'ai jamais connu? the door of the Infinite which I love and have never known?我敞開我心愛與從未涊識的無垠之門
De Satan ou de Dieu, qu'importe? Ange ou Sèrene From Satan or God, who cares? Angel or Siren,有誰者緊你來自撒旦或天主
Qu'importe, si tu rends--Fée aux yeux de velours, Who cares, if you return--fairy with eyes of velvet,, 你是天神或塞壬有誰者緊若你
Rhythme, parfum, lueur, ô mon unique reine!-- rhythm, parfume, sweat, o my only queen--天鵝絨眼睛的仙子，奉遠
還節奏，香氣，汗水，噢，我的唯一女后!--
L'univers moins hideux et les instants moins lourds? universes less hideous and moments less heavy?有更不醜陋的宇宙及更不沈重的瞬間嗎？
(Empty)
回覆刪除[版主回覆10/25/2010 15:41:00]Thank you so much.
I heard it. But the translator appear to have put in far to many things into the poem which were not originally there in an effort to "ïmprove"it. It may be a good English poem but I don't think that it is the one Baudeliare wrote!
I found quite a few translation of this poem from the internet. Here's one by Roy Campbell for your interest:
回覆刪除Hymn to Beauty
Did you spring out of heaven or the abyss, Beauty? Your gaze infernal, yet divine, Spreads infamy and glory, grief and bliss, And therefore you can be compared to wine.
Your eyes contain both sunset and aurora: You give off scents, like evenings storm-deflowered: Your kisses are a philtre: an amphora Your mouth, that cows the brave, and spurs the coward.
Climb you from gulfs, or from the stars descend? Fate, like a fawning hound, to heel you've brought; You scatter joy and ruin without end, Ruling all things, yet answering for naught.
You trample men to death, and mock their clamour. Amongst your gauds pale Horror gleams and glances, And Murder, not the least of them in glamour, On your proud belly amorously dances.
The dazzled insect seeks your candle-rays, Crackles, and burns, and seems to bless his doom. The groom bent o'er his bride as in a daze, Seems, like a dying man, to stroke his tomb.
What matter if from hell or heaven born, Tremendous monster, terrible to view? Your eyes and smile reveal to me, like morn, The Infinite I love but never knew.
From God or Fiend? Siren or Sylph ? Invidious The answer — Fay with eyes of velvet, ray, Rhythm, and perfume! — if you make less hideous Our universe, less tedious leave our day.
— Roy Campbell
[版主回覆10/25/2010 16:26:00]Thank you so much. It suffers from the faults of many translator: too much extraneous matters and some downright mistakes too numerous to mention. That may result from their desire to make the words rhyme in English, a virtually impossible ambition. The result is a "rewriting", not a "translation".
The principles of my translations are to stick to the original vocabulary and the original word order as far as possible unless justified by the following:
回覆刪除1. the completely different sentence structure of the translated language with regard to the placement of the subject, object, verb, adjective, adverb, subordinate clauses, and adjectival/adverbial phrases .
2. I try if possible to introduce a little rhyme but this must always be a subsidiary consideration because different languages often have completely different phonetics with very little in common as far as sounds are concerned.
3. add words in the translated version only if the addition adds to/clarifies the sense of original words/phrases otherwise incomprehensible but this must be done with the strictest self-discipline not self-indulgence as happens in too many of the "translations"that I see.
4. omit subjects or articles in the original where the context makes them apparent because one of the ways poets pack emotional power into their poems is compactness and economy in their use of words, not prolixity.
5. For English translations, use as far as possible, Anglo-Saxon words, not words of Latin or Greek origin.
"Object of Beauty, Bid the subject of desire, Jaded , kissed and glorified, Exaggeration of hope and lust, Cats walking back and forth, Towards the illumination of beauty... Of tender and grace, Founders of lines and curves of the body frame, Beyond the beauty of our imagination, Enthusiasm enlarged, Art magnified, Unison of the beauty and the beast, Time when the light and shade collide, Yields something like gorgeous and yet beyond explanation..." Good afternoon, my dear old friend!
回覆刪除[版主回覆10/25/2010 18:23:00]Thank you so much for these snowballing of additional materials touched off by certain aspects of the original poem and/or translation. Have a pleasant evening! You're so inventive!
translation is not easy
回覆刪除and i agree with you that too many translations are simply re-writing the poems
lose the original beauty
[版主回覆10/26/2010 07:02:00]I can understand why the translators are doing that. They are consumed by the desire to create something of beauty. That desire sometimes makes them forget their original purpose: to translate and not to create a new poem by using elements of the poem to be translated. Translators must resist that very strong desire or they will betray the poet whose poem they are translating and despite their best intentions, they turn themselves into incompetent translators because of that betrayal.
One can never hope to appreciate the original flavor of a poem. Even a reflection in the mirror or an image taken by a camera of the highest caliber, will suffer certain degree of distortion. Translation is even more so because each language has its own peculiarities, nuisances and cultural background. If we compromise the other aspects of a poem (such as rhythm, alliteration, allusions, rhyming, poetic diction, imageries, etc.) for the sake of terseness and authenticity, the end product becomes “stiff, colorless and lifeless”. I am certainly against improving on original poems but the problem is how to be as close to the original as possible ? And alas, how many of us are able to read foreign poems in their original form?
回覆刪除[版主回覆10/26/2010 13:27:00]If you want original flavors, you got to know the language. If you want authentic European cuisine, you got to go the foreign "locals" and not to take "sinizised European" cuisine. So much is lost in translations because certain things are simply untranslatable. But at least your get a "skeleton" of what the poet is trying to do in faithful translations. For the full flavor of the "flesh and blood", you got to do what you got to do. Learn the language. There ain't no short cut that I know of. If you do, I shall be delighted to hear about it. So if you know you cannot get the original flavor of a poem in a language you don't know, you must manage your own ""expectations". You have no other choice.