Mother's Day Fun

It's going to be mother's day soon. We all love our mothers. Don't we? We also like to have fun. For some, it's with her. For others, it may be at her expense. Whatever the truth may be, I'm sure many married men and women would like what follows.


1.

Once two ladies came before King Solomon, fighting over a boy.
“He’s my son-in law” one said.
 “No he’s mine” countered the other..
 After thinking for a few minutes the King finally decided on a test.
 “Bring me my sword and we will cut the boy in half, you will each get half.”
 “No” the first lady screamed “don’t cut him in half. I would rather the second lady get the whole son-in-law.”
 "Ah Ha, " said King Solomon with a big smile. " I now know who is the real mother-in-law. Who but the real mother-in-law would stand quietly while her son-in-law gets cut in half."

2

Gary was traveling down a quiet country road when he noticed a large group of people standing around outside a house.
He stopped and asked a farmer why such a large crowd was gathered.
The farmer replied," Billy Bob's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died."
"I see," Gary said. "Well, she must have had a lot of friends."
"Naw," the farmer said, "we just all want to buy his mule."


3

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a very mean looking dog on a leash.
Behind that were 200 women walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand the curiosity.
She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband."
"What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."

Have fun and a happy mother's day.