Saturday Fun

Japanese are not famous for telling good jokes. Probably, their minds are far too occupied by plotting how to steal and if necessary to rob other nations of their territories. But if they haven't any good jokes, that doesn't necessarily mean that others don't. Here are three.


1.  Unwitting Jokes by Japanese

    Perhaps because of the way they are educated, despite their adoration of everything American, English does not appear to be one of their strengths.
    
    Here are some signs at Japanese hotels.
   
    In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
 
    In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
 
    In a third Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

2.  Made in Japan 

    A Japanese tourist went to New York for sightseeing.

     On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport.

     During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi.
     Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!"

     After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi.
     Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"

     And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi.
     For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"

     The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport.

     The fare was US$300. The Japanese exclaimed, "Wah... so expensive!"
     Thereupon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!"

3.      Two men and a woman on a deserted island

On a tropical island :
On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

Two Italian men and one Italian woman
Two French men and one French woman
Two German men and one German woman
Two Greek men and one Greek woman
Two English men and one English woman
Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
Two American men and one American woman
Two Australian men and one Australian woman
Two New Zealand men and one New Zealand woman
Two Irish men and one Irish woman
Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman

A month later, the scenerio would probably be as follows:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together having loads of sex.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The two Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.
The two American men are talking about football, while the American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving - but hey, at least the taxes are low and it's not raining.
The two Australian men beat each into a bloody mess for the Australian woman, who is checking out all the other men after calling them both wankers'.
Both the New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.
The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few bottles of coconut whisky, but at least the English are not getting any.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting further instructions.

Have a nice weekend.