Saturday Students Jokes

"Students" is that category of the human species which is a perpetual headache to teachers. But they can be an endless source of fun too.  Here's why:

1.    History Teacher :What happened in 1809?
       Student: Abraham Lincoln was born.
       History Teacher :What happened in 1819?
       Student: Abraham Lincoln was ten years old.


2.     Teacher: If I saw a man beating a dog and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
    Student: brotherly love

3.    Teacher: Give me an example of Coincidence?
    Student: My mom and dad got married on the same date.


4.     Teacher: How old is your dad.
        Student: He is as old as I am.
        Teacher: How is it possible?
        Student: Because he became a dad only after I was born.


5. Maths teacher: If you have £20 and I ask you for £10 as a loan, how many pounds would you still have?".
   Student:  20
    Maths Teacher:  How so?
    Student: Just because you ask me to lend you £10, it doesn't mean I am going to.

6.  A young boy was teaching mathematics to a young girl, saying that this was his good deed.
He kissed her; he then kissed her again; he kissed her a third time adding "There, that's addition".
She silently gave him the kisses back sweetly saying " So that will be substraction?".
They then kissed each other at the same time. Both smiled and said together " That's multiplication.”
Just at that moment, the young girl's father arrived. He kicked him for two blocks exclaiming "That's long division".

7.  Maths Teacher: Suppose, I give you 2 dogs. Then I again give you 2 dogs. How many will you have?
Student:  5
Maths Teacher: How so?
Student: I have a dog in my house now.

8. Maths Teacher: Suppose, you have $10. You asked your mother for six more. How many would you have then?
    Student:  $10
    Teacher: Why?
Student: Because my mother won’t give me any.

9. Maths Teacher: If your father and mother both give you $50, what you will get?
    Student: A new video game.


10 Teacher: Tell me a way to prevent a disease which caused by biting insects.
  Student: Don’t get bitten by them.

11. Teacher: You are late today Mike.
  Mike: Sir, I obeyed a college sign
  Teacher: What sign?
  Mike: "COLLEGE AHEAD, DRIVE SLOW."

12. Teacher: Gwen, come here and point out Africa from this globe.
  Gwen: here (Gwen points that out)
  Teacher: Correct! Now John, who discovered Africa?
  Class: Gwen!!

13. Teacher: Suppose, you are offered money and knowledge. You have to take one of them. Which one you should choose?
  Student: Money.
  Teacher: I would have taken knowledge. But why do you take money?
   Student: I lack  money that’s why. You lack knowledge. That’s why.

14. A new student came to the class. After asking his name the teacher asked him, 'What does your father do?'
  Student: Whatever Mom says.

15. Teacher: Suppose, you have 4 coins in your pocket and there is a hole in the pocket. All the four coins fall down from that hole. What will you have in your pocket?
  Student:  A hole.

16. Ben got 100 out of 100 in the exam. So the teacher gave him a gift and said, "I hope you will do the same in the next exam.'
  Ben: Thank you Sir. I hope you will also print the question paper from my uncle’s printing shop next time.

17.  Ron and Jack are twin brothers. Their teacher told them to write an essay about a pet dog. After checking the essays the teacher asked Ron 'Why are both your essay and Jack's the same?'
  Ron: Sir, our pet dog is the same.

18.  Maths teacher : A=B, B=C, So A=C.  Prove this method with example.
   Student: I love u. U love ur daughter. So i love ur daughter.

Have a nice weekend.