Jokes on Politics (政治笑話)

Hardly a day passes now without our reading or hearing political squabbles in Hong Kong. Perhaps there are only two things which we can never escape from. The first is death. The second is politics. Whilst we may not bother about the details of political disputes, politics will never cease to bother us, whether we will or not. If there's nothing much we can do about that, there's at least one thing still left to us: we can joke about them

1.

Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is."

Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?"

Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."

That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.

The next morning he reported to his father.

Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."

Father: "Good. Can you explain it to me in your own words?"

Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit."


2.


A life long supporter of the Democratic Party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the DAB.

"But why?" asked his puzzled friend, "You're Democrat through and through … Why change now?"

The man leaned forward and explained: "Well, I'd rather it was one of them that died and not one of us."


3.

"Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "

"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I am elected.'"



4.

A man went in for a brain transplant operation and was offered a choice of two brains by the surgeon. He could choose either the Architect's brain which would cost him $10,000 or the Politician's which was $100,000.

"Does that mean that the politician's brain is much better than the Architect's?" exclaimed the clearly puzzled man.

"Not exactly" replied the surgeon, "the politician's has never been used."


5.

The HKSAR government today announced that it is changing its emblem from a bauhinia to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance: a condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.


The sun has come out. Go out and have a bit of fun before our government destroys all.