Saturday Fun (週末一笑)

Life in the last couple of days has been most difficult. You never know what you'll get when you are out in the streets. When you leave the house with an umbrella, it doesn't rain but when you don't, it rains cats and dogs. Weather has never ever been completely predictable, just like women's moods. There's little you can do, except to joke about it. So....

1.

A
blonde goes over to visit one of her friends.
While she is at her
friend’s house it starts to rain.
Her friend suggests she spend the
night at her house and go home the next day.
The blonde agrees that
makes sense and goes into the den to watch TV while her friend goes
upstairs to put the kids to bed.
When her host comes downstairs, she
finds the blonde coming in the front door, soaking wet.
She asks, ‘Where
have you been?’
‘I went home to get my pyjamas!’

2.
A
small boy is woken by a huge crash of thunder.
He runs into his
parents’ room, where his father comforts him. ‘Don’t be afraid of the
thunder,’ he says. ‘It’s just a noise that God makes when someone tells a
lie.’
‘But why is it thundering now?’ asks the boy.
‘It’s the middle of
the night and everyone is asleep.’
'I know,’ replies father. ‘But it’s
around this time that they start printing the newspapers.'

3.
'You never get anything right,' complained the teacher. 'What kind of job do you think you'll get when you leave school ?'
'Well, I really wouldn't know. Perhaps I might make an excellent weather girl on TV?'

4. What are the signs for telling that the temperature is really high without looking at a thermometer? At least 15...

the cows are giving evaporated milk. farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs
a dog is chasing a cat but they are both walking
hot water now comes out of both taps
you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.you burn your hand opening the car door.you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
you start buying stock in Gatorade.
you start putting ice cubes in your water bed.
you can't say 113 degrees without fainting.
your dream house is any house in Alaska.
you can make instant sun tea.
the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

It's weekend. Have fun, rain or shine!