Two more Saturday Jokes

Since it's Saturday jokes time. I posted some. They have to do with what men want in the house. I thought they were deleted by Yahoo as sexist because I labelled it "Declaration for the Rights of the Macho Man". I was wrong. So, here are two more.

The Best Gift for Mama

Three sons left home. They went out on their own and all prospered. They got together and discussed what they would give to their elderly mother.

Milton, the first said, " I built a house for Mama."

Gerald, the second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver".

The third, Donald, smiled and said, "I got both you beaten. You remember how Mama enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took the Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."

Soon the "Thank you"  notes from Mama arrived.

To the first son, she wrote, "Thanks Milton. The house you built is so huge. But I live in only one room. However I have to clean the whole house!"

To the second, she wrote: "Thank you so much, Gerald. But I'm too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay home most of the time. So I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"

When she wrote to the third son, she said, "Dearest Donald, you have the good sense to know what your Mama likes. The chicken was delicious!"

A Surprised Mother

A woman took her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor.

The doctors said, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"

The mother said, "It's my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings. She's putting on weight and is sick most mornings."

The doctor gave Debbite a good examination. Then turning  to the mother, he said, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this. But your Debbie is pregnant. About 4 months, I'd say."

The mother said, "Pregnant? She can't be. She has never been left alone with a man! Have you, Debbie?"

Debbie said, "No, mother! I've never even kissed a man."

The doctor walked over to the window and stood there staring out of it.

After about 5 minutes, the mother finally asked, "Is there something wrong out there?"

The doctor replied: "No, not really. It's just that the last time anything like that happened, a star appeared in the East, three wise men came over the hill. There's no way I'm going to miss it this time!"

Have a nice weekend!